Support? System Down/ Right to know you have kids?/ Your FEEDBACK

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From: John Murtari (
Date: Tue Jan 27 2009 - 10:18:31 EST

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Good People & People of Faith:

This message has info on:

1. Support? System Down - Update from the Producer
2. Right to know you have kids? - NY Assemblyman Oaks, Jan 27.
3. Your FEEDBACK - politicians and Mr. Oaks.
4. Your FEEDBACK - rights/methods.
5. FEEDBACK - leadership?

1. Support? System Down - Update from the Producer
Submitted by: Angelo Lobo <>

Dear Friends and Supporters,

It's been a while since I emailed all of you. I hope everyone has had
a Wonderful Christmas Holiday. Even if you couldn't see your child as
many of You haven't or could not have spent the time you would have
liked to.

It's funny when I started this project it never accrued to me it would
be so hard to bring it to the next level of distribution. The good
news is we are making head way. The bad news is it's going to take
more time.  We have been working on the project for close to 4 years
and as some of you know raising funding in this movement is like
pulling teeth from a vampire. You just can't do it without loosing

It's the same when you get to Family Court. I guess as soon as you
walk in the door you try to put your wallet in your front pocket
thinking it will help. Hopefully they wont find the last five bucks
you have in the back of it. Oh well they say it's ok if the economy is
bad, it's ok if you lost your job, and don't worry about the fact that
we are in a depression. Just pay your CHILD SUPPORT and we wont send
you to jail.

No don't worry about the mortgage it can wait. Oh and forget about the
electricity for a while the Family you have is ok without it. A car?
oh so you have car insurance well your just going to have to do
without a car for awhile don't you think? You will manage. We found
out you have a brokerage account. In it was only $200.00 hundred
dollars but it will do. Don't try to open another one it just wont
work for you to try and save.

Maybe you would like to spend some time in jail to help think about
how your going to live for the next few months. Yes, I think that
might do it so why don't we just say your in CONTEMPT right now and
we'll see you next week to see if you've changed your mind about
paying what you don't have. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

If you keep hearing the same story it's because it's the same across
the country. This film has it all from one end of the country to the
next everything from incarceration to Parent Alienation to a bitter
divorce battle to a custody issue that just wont quit. I think the
most interesting part of the film and it might not be interesting to
you when you see it, however, it's the Paternity Fraud. It really
hurts so deep inside that the person involved can't think straight
never mind breath or sleep like a normal human being ever again.

It's the fact that everyone that sees this movie is brought back to
some point in their own life when it was bad and maybe they choose to
forget it.  I don't know if that's the case but for me at this point
if I don't keep moving on getting this out next year my soul doesn't
let me sleep.  When I think about the part in the movie with 12 men
chained to each other begging the Judge to set them free and they
plead that they will pay with their blood if they have to just let me
out. Or the chained up black women who were crying and they were sorry
for not being able to find work or the handcuffed business man who
felt like they shouldn't have to pay and should not be in jail because
the DNA came back NEGATIVE anyway. Huh?

I also lose sleep when that comment pops in my head when an assistant
city attorney told me "off-the-record" that they have 100,000 families
brought ("roped") in every year and they enjoy seeing their profits
surpass the million mark every year..... very proudly she
boasted. Guess where that was.....Don't worry it's in the movie!

It comes to me sometimes that even though we run out of money they do
not.  The system takes from everyone and we just allow it to
happen. It's almost like Russian roulette. We walk in thinking it's
never going to pull then BANG your dead it takes everything including
the kid.  I receive dozens of emails and stories and yet it's hard to
believe that I can't fill a theater.

The next 2 night venue is in Michigan would you make it? Would you
bring a friend?

Man I'm tired, Isn't that the truth! My airline miles have depleted,
my hotels miles have zeroed out, even my calling cards ask for a dime.
Forget credit cards they got so maxed out I had to shred them because
I was addicted to try again and again for charge.

This is a tough movement I must admit. Another thing I must tell
you....I will not quit.

With your support there is hope! If you haven't heard already we have
our 30 MINUTE SNEAK PREVIEW available now on our website for a
reasonable cost. All proceeds help us keep the lights on and keep the
editor happy to help.

Support the movie and take advantage of $2.00 OFF the DVD purchase
TODAY!  Click here and use CODE: (akidsright) for the discount when
you check out.

Register your info for FREE here:

I will be giving away 1 FREE DVD of the sneak preview per month until
the film comes out. You can use it for your next group event or show
it to your legislators. All I ask is that you spread the word about
the film and help the next parent going through this mess.

If you feel you can Donate then thank you for your support TODAY and
over the years. With your help the movie has grown and will be a great
success in reform.

Your donation, no matter how large or small, can help with the many
areas that make the film special: bringing the film to different
cities, promotional materials, press releases, website updates, the
submission to festivals and more.

Please consider a donation of $5, $10, $25, $50, $100 or more, or
whatever fits your budget. We would greatly appreciate it.

To donate with a credit card, visit and send your
donation to:

To donate with a check, please make it payable to:

SUPPORT? system down
PO Box 1483
Carlsbad, CA 92008

If you have any questions or would like to be added to our SPONSOR
PAGE by donating $300 or more please do not hesitate to contact us.

Thank you very much and happy New Year!                   

SUPPORT? system down is coming for sure 2009

Warmest Regards,

Angelo Lobo

SUPPORT? system down
website :

2. Right to know you have kids? - NY Assemblyman Oaks, Jan 27
Submitted by: John Murtari <jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org>

At about 2 PM EST today, Jan 27, I'll be standing outside the offices
of my Assemblyman, Mr. Robert Oaks.  I still can't drive, but his
local office is in walking distance -- I just hope it's not too cold!

With your help we may be able to convince him it's a good idea to
introduce a Bill in the New York State legislature that recognizes the
right of both parents to know they have a child.

I've spoken with him in person several times and also members of his
staff.  They are all very nice people, but right now he feels there
would be strong political risk in such a Bill and will not introduce
it.  I hope that through our positive efforts we can convince him

You are welcome to call/write him.  It will be a big help!

phone:  315-946-5166
write:  Assemblyman Robert Oaks
        10 Leach Road
        Lyons, NY   14489 

3. Your FEEDBACK - politicians & Mr. Oaks.
Regarding Parental notification of child birth and family rights.

--- "Timothy Murek" <>

> I emailed a letter to Mr. Oaks outlining my concerns of his actions
> or inactions. Re: Sponsor Bill

I want to thank you very much for that!  A lot of people wrote in, you
are the first to have actually done something.  Those letters do

--- "Mike Kosak" <>


I think he doesn't want to risk his job for something he's not sure
will work or make a difference?  Actually, it sounds like a lot of
parents in the reform effort?  I ask people what they are willing to
sacrifice to make things better for other parents -- I rarely get an

Until I went through it, I wasn't worried about Family Law - how about
you?  It's really on us to make other people see the problems and the
indignity in how parents are being treated.

------ Mike's reply

> I know what you are saying - but this is his JOB The system sucks
> and it is people like that who are the only ones who can initiate
> the laws to change it.

> Who is he afraid of?  Who could be AGAINST FAIRNESS in the system? 
> (that's the way to phrase it)- give me his email There is no justice
> in the family court system- in a divorce it is 2 lawyers fighting
> with each other until all the money is gone.

> If you are poor you can bet your divorce will be finished in weeks-
> if you have ANY money at all they see you as a revenue stream for as
> long as they can milk it.

--- Jeff <>

> I do hope you can raise Hillary's example of dealing with conflict
> (you and your protests) by ignoring it, to the media in her new
> campaign as secretary of state!

It was a shame that we didn't get any response, but to be honest, I'm
not sure I can blame her.  I'm sure she has hundreds of different
interest groups who want her attention.  I'm sure she could have
thought, if what this guy wants is such a big deal -- how come he's
usually the only one at the Federal Building. Where is everybody?

It will take us some time, but I'm feeling the responsibility
is more on us to show how much we believe -- then the politicians
will come along.

4. Your FEEDBACK - rights/methods.


> ...It is not the individuals that have failed but society in general
> for not fighting to keep the promise of the great republic and
> personal freedoms with it. Society has welcomed the advance of big
> government and the slavery that comes with it.

--- Sam <>

> What are you proposing? 

... that we need to be about 'family rights' and united as fathers and
mothers toward a common goal.  To turn this into a 'gender war' will
be a guarantee of failure.  http://www.AKidsRight.Org/approach.htm

--- "Lorie Morphis" <>

> Found this page and thought you would be interested.

I checked out the link you gave me -- not quite sure I agree with
emphasis both on Men and Support (Money)...  I hope we can address
this as 'parents' and that our primary issue is being presumed FIT &
EQUAL to raise our own kids.

--- Terry <>

   "A child does NOT have a right to parents who always act in the
   child's best interest."

> I copied and pasted this quote from your letter, do you mean this
> and why?  Are the powers that be pitting parents and children
> against each other in such a way that parents have to make a
> choice?  The child's interest, or my own survival?  Part of what went
> wrong with the system is us leaving the age old belief that parents
> have the best interest of there children at heart and not the
> State.  We have really headed down a slippery slope with Stateism. 

The quote is quite accurate and reflects reality.  I had two parents
who loved me very much, did they always do what was best for me - no.
Did I have a 'right' to that as a kid - no.  That is just part of
life.  Once we begin to make that a 'right', it's a reason for
government to interfere.

Obviously, any smoking parents should lose their kids right away?  Any
obese parents who aren't controlling the weights of their obese kids
should lose their kids?, etc.....

I do quite agree with you, that parents decide what is best for their
family (them and their kids) -- not the government.

--- "Thomas Tessaro" <>

> The last bullet in the Rights section of this email will be a
> problem:
> ". . . .A child does NOT have a right to parents who always act in
> the child's best interest."
> Any time you proclaim, "A child does NOT have a right", or, you
> propose against the "child's best interest" standard, you're going
> to draw unnecessary fire--why not say something like:
> "A child's best interest must be balanced with the rights of both
> natural parents."

There are many folks who agree with you, but the very concept that the
'state' will be the one to set the 'balance' is the whole problem with
our present system.  I would not put that line on a 'banner', but for
folks in the reform effort, I think we should accept that: kids don't
have a 'right' to what's best from their parents.....


> Another fact about the bus boycott [against segregation in the 50s]
> is that it lasted for well over a year.  It was over a year before
> the there was any negotiations.  That meant it was over a year of
> walking to work, car pools and other hardships that the blacks
> endured.
> I do not think as a group single fathers could sustain such a
> boycott. 

I agree with what you say about the level of sacrifice it took back
then.  I don't see anything less having any real impact now.  I really
do think it is possible, not sure just for 'fathers', but probably for
'parents' seeking their Civil Rights.

Back then, a lot of SMART people said segregation would never change,
that those blacks would never stand up for change -- they were wrong.

--- Ray Brooter <>

> How about Full ACCOUNTABILITY to ANYONE (judges, attorneys, former
> spouses, state politicians, probation etc.) that criminalizes any of
> these proposals. I think you have left out something that PA or PAS
> is unacceptable and will be prosecuted....

... regarding PAS I don't think that needs to be mentioned because we
are assumed to be equal parents unless you caused serious harm to your
kids with malintent toward the kids -- that would mean that probably
95% of the time it would be equal time, nothing to fight over.  You
want to bad mouth the other parent, it doesn't matter -- and with
equal time, the kids can see what is going on.

----- Ray replies

> Your thinking might be that both parents are equal but if you do not
> protect say a non-custodial (OR custodial parent) from an alienator
> there will be no correction to this sick process. I have done NO
> alienation to my child but my former has I have no way to control it
> or stop it since the court does not at all buy into something that
> is very much real and sick by vicious and underhanded individuals
> that know how to hide their sick acts but do it to the children (so
> much that fathers unaware have been shot in their backs by their own
> 8 year old children....

> I most always follow your progress. Much of this movement I see as
> going no place due to the quality (or lack of quality I should say)
> I do not much desire to be very close to it.  There is only perhaps
> 5-10 people in my bag of tricks  that I think are worth while. My
> health has suffered big time and I am trying to do things on my own
> since the efforts have been so segmented and going round and round
> or in no direction.

--- Robert Dean <>

> I'm happy to see you trying to organize and head in this direction. 
> I'd like to share with you a recent experience that I had with a
> 'father's rights activist.'  He was upset with me because he thought
> that I should be doing more to advance the 'father's rights' cause. 
> I explained to him that we are not activists, we are a positive
> parenting group, who want to enrich children's lives through
> supporting their dads.  This was back in Nov. just after Obama got
> elected.  I pointed out that Jessie Jackson never got close to the
> Presidency, in part because of his negative message.  Although Obama
> is black, he didn't use that as a pulpit to run on.  He is just a
> guy with some really good ideas.

> People want to be part of positive change and a positive message. 
> Also people are supportive of children and making their lives
> better.  Come up with a positive message on how children's lives can
> be changed for the better.  Then tell people how they can be part of
> making the change happen.  Give them a directory for the politicians
> that represent them.  Stress that not only they, but, as many people
> as they can contact need to be part of the 'solution.'

I checked your web site out, very nice. You are quite right about
staying positive...

5. FEEDBACK - leadership?
Below thoughts on leadership and direction, starting of

--- "T Finnan" <>

> You're a hero because you believe in what you do and act on your
> beliefs without cowardice.

--- Charles Wright <>

> An unjust law is no law. You have fought a good fight.

--- Fran <>

> I understand where you are coming from exactly.  Keep up the faith. 
> Eventually, it will be worth it all.

--- jeff ducken <>

> Have you put together any information on what your actions has
> improved?  what is your end goal?

... as far as long term goals go I think the links below have that
info.  Not so good as to what has improved so far -- nothing!  We
still need something that will get people excited and willing to take
action.                    http://www.NationalPLC.Org/

--- "AdVader" <>

> humans do have feelings you know?  perhaps you will burn out and die
> too?  this month they're gonna help me with my heart don't compare,
> fight your way, don't push it nor your ego

--- "mikal haley" <>

> i think you should work with existing groups instead of starting
> ANOTHER new organization.
> it's like yahoogroups there are so many groups with five or fewer
> members and the same agenda. if only they could have gotten
> together?  but everybody seems to want to be in charge of
> something...  it seems like the stuff you want will be more possible
> when people DON'T want to "take the lead" and instead come together
> because of shared desires...people who really love kids, and love
> their own kids and want to protect them from the worst sorts of
> PERVERTS maybe have it the easiest.

--- "fran lucas" <>

>  You are definitely a Hero in this movement!  I thank you so much >
>  for having the courage to stand for us, when we cannot stand for
>  ourselves!  > I will be happy to write a letter to your son (if you
>  would like) and tell > him what a great example he has for a father
>  (but I am sure he already > knows).

--- "Robert Whiston" <>

> Just a quick note to say I've been following, from this side of the
> Atlantic, what has been happening to you and that men /fathers in
> Britain are also currently serving jail time for a just cause.  We
> need more men like you and them.

--- "Harry Crouch" <>

> Welcome home. I admire very few and you are at the top of the list
> of those I do. I hope your holidays are as blessed as we are to have
> you; and, that you can spend some days with warmth, hope, cheer, and
> with loved ones rather than guards...

--- Stan <>

> In an effort to save time, your inability to work well with others
> in our activism would make such an effort as you propose entirely
> futile at this point without a major outreach from you.

> No one doubts your commitment to address certain issues in a very
> rigid manner, unto death.  Many others of us have faced that
> elephant and stood firm as well.  You had a great opportunity.

> A number of the more involved in our informal group of long-term
> activists have privately expressed frustration with your inability
> to assist others and of your inability to take your previous
> considerable media attention to the next level.  I am sure it was
> frustrating to some of the reporters as well.

> I am not bringing this up to all of the others who have in the past
> expressed a private frustration and who have felt that your refusal
> to respond or reply to email was more than a little insulting.  Your
> unwillingness to assist many of your earlier supporters reinforced
> the view of a one-man show.

> I value those communications where activists share their views and
> opinions on how I may be off track or on how to improve what I do.
> Many of those have become trusted friends and provide reliable and
> honest counsel on many of our projects and work to rein me in if I
> go too far astray.  They also help me reach larger audiences and
> gain greater participation in our efforts, and I help them as much
> as I can.

> I use the critiques of others in this activism to moderate and/or
> keep my own efforts on track.  I am not so Narcissistic as to
> dismiss any and all who do not blindly follow my lead or who have
> any constructive criticism.  I realize that at times when my child
> has been harmed, especially, that I can and do, as a human being
> lose perspective.

> I believe if you start to reach out to assist others in our activism
> you will have more response to your 'call to arms'.  As it is, at
> this time, I do not want to tie myself to another 'loose cannon' on
> a stormy deck.  I have been run down by others before you for not
> paying attention to the warning flags.  I learned.

> It is a good idea and I would like to see you put it together *in
> cooperation with others.*

> Your own apparent commitment to divisiveness and rigidity is a
> concern to me and others.  I wrote you about one instance not to
> long ago.  I, of course, never heard back.  I expected as much to do
> otherwise would have been out of your very predictable character, at
> this time.

> To a different set of activists your divisive rigidity may not be so
> much of a concern.  If I see you developing this current project and
> working well with others, I will be actively supportive.

> In the alternative, unless it becomes destructive of our activism, I
> will refrain from public comment.

> Many of us helped you earlier in every way we could from letters and
> emails to Hillary and your captors, to giving your releases greater
> audiences than you could have imagined or accomplished on your own.

> Now, you are notoriously silent when it comes to helping others in
> their niche of our multiplex activism.

> I hope you do not mind, but I am copying this to Teri, since she
> seems to help you moderate at times. And she has an ability to keep
> these divisiveness issues under wraps.  Other than that, this is
> back-channel.

> It may take you helping others in their projects for a while to show
> that you do understand unity is more than just getting everyone to
> do it your way.  You are not the only one with any level of
> intelligence or personal resource in our activism.  There are others
> with greater ability than the two of us combined and you brush them
> off as you do me.

> I offer you my very best wishes.

                                       John Murtari
Coordinator                            AKidsRight.Org
jmurtari@AKidsRight.Org                "A Kid's Right to BOTH parents"
Toll Free (877) 635-1968(x-211)        http://www.AKidsRight.Org/

A Kid's Right to Both Parents!
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