Name:   Sarah Kemball  Location:   Red Oak, IA

Email Addr:  jnskemball@earthlink.net

Children/Birth Date:  Nicole Smith 5/28/1988
Brittany Smith 8/8/1992

Date Separated:  9/9/2004

Current Status:  Order for temporary removal

First I would like to express how bad my family has hurt me. I was recently located back to Iowa from California by my father and sister due to marital problems. My husband started counseling as he stayed back in CA. I started counseling here in IA for me and my two daughters, my daughters are from a previous marriage. My current husband and I share a 10 month old son. My father stated that maybe later on down the road my husband and I could work things out but not at the moment. My father is very controlling and also into law enforcement. He stated he wouldn't be moving my husband back and I had told him that I wanted some time apart to get us all counseling and then family counseling. When I was moved back to IA I had to live with my mother and father for a month before I was placed into their rental unit as I could not afford anything and had to sign up for public assistance. In the meantime my father took it upon himself to make sure he put my only car that was paid for into his and my mother's name stating since I could not afford insurance and to license it out here. He also did repairs to it without my consent and knowing I couldn't afford them. They had ill feelings towards my husband which did nothing but provide for us for 3 years of our marriage.

The girls have done nothing but put us through emotional turmoil stating he isn't their real father and they don't like him or have to listen to him. The oldest daughter falsely accused him of sexual abuse which was all investigated and she had even admitted she lied about eventually. We have tried several times to get counseling and family counseling which the counselors say we can not make the girls talk when they refuse to participate and say they have nothing to talk about. The oldest daughter will argue to no end with us over petty things. She also gets the youngest to follow her steps to get what she wants.

My husband has returned to IA to work things out with me and our family and we are continuing our counseling. My father who I was renting from evicted me from the house because of my intentions on getting back with my husband. He has held my car for unpaid repair bills and the trip he spent to go out to California and bring me back. I also told him he wasn't taking my girls. Well he misused his authority as being chief of police along with my sister being clerk of court in another county and pushed an order through to get temporary custody of my girls. They have manifested their ideas and opinions onto my girls. My mother had threatened  to shoot my husband, they were also telling my girls to run away. My girls did attempt to run away one night after my telling my oldest daughter she would be grounded for being late all week. I did report them to the local sheriff office and a neighbor called to let me know they were safe and could stay there for awhile. I agreed to a few days until things settled down. In the meantime my parents and sister pushed their order through for temporary custody. Since they know so many legal people here I am not getting heard or a fair hearing. They also have many contacts in surrounding areas. I am trying to tell the DHS that they are not in a safe environment there and to please place them in a temporary foster care home until counseling can be done. They are not listening either.

Since my girls have been staying there they have started lying and not wanting to even visit me. I never even had this much trouble until we moved back here and they started seeing the grandparents and aunt. They are also buying the girls things that they normally wouldn't. Taking them to psychologist without my consent or knowledge. I can not get myself heard due to the misuse of authority by my father and sister. I can not afford a retainer to get my own lawyer so I have to rely on a court appointed attorney which I only get 5 minutes with before the hearing and the first hearing was already done and my court appointed attorney didn't even get a chance to speak before they did an ex-parte order because the first order they pushed through was not a legal one so they had to redo one and now we are waiting another hearing that is supposed to be scheduled within 10 days which I have no knowledge or information of.

My daughters are loving the attention they are getting and the gifts they are receiving and not getting the counseling they need because of all the strings being pulled. I have even agreed to in home counseling and have showed proof of the attempts to get them counseling in the past. My girls are thinking they are going to have a better life with their grandparents and an aunt who is married to an alcoholic but my parents are fine with that because he is a nice one. They say they are for the best interest of the girls but they are just trying to control me through the girls. They have not even once asked to see our 10 month old or ask how he is doing. If anyone can please help or give us any information on where to get some help please let me know. Thank you.

Name: Diana Sargent    Location:   Manchester, NH

Email Addr:  oriablue@aol.com

Children/Birth Date:  (name unknown) 1991

Date Separated:  August, 2003

 I have had no/little contact with our daughter- the ex kidnapped her on visitation (he's in NJ, I'm in NH) last July, then sent her back (after FBI threats) coerced, and corrupted, with an entirely new wardrobe of gothic clothing, with the promise that she could live a free style life in NJ, and also become part of her half brother's rise to fame with the "Brechtian Punk" band dresden dolls. I left an abusive marriage in 2000, and moved to NH with our daughter, and the ex's written, signed permission to leave because of the abuse, and his physical help. After obtaining a PRO in NH, which he was arrested in NH for breaking (more than once) the ex went to NJ and filed for divorce and custody with his Italian uncle attorney. Since then, all the transcripts in the court disappeared- and so for three years, I was in an uphill battle to keep our daughter in NH. She eventually gave in to the bullying, but I could not put myself in that situation again, no matter what- there are no legal actions, as all I want after 15 years of hell (ten of a horrible marriage, and five trying to start a new life) is to start a new life, if it's even possible!

I am a mom, an elementary music/strings teacher of over 500 children per week, living in Manchester, New Hampshire. I'm writing to share my horror story. A single mom for four years, I have had no choice but to decide to give up my own 12 year old daughter to her father, who lives in NJ.

The issues surrounding this very difficult decision are very complex. In the year 2000, after surviving a 10-year marriage compromised by domestic violence, I decided that the only way I could begin again viably was to leave NJ, and to move back home to NH, where I had been raised and had worked until the age of 31, and where I could start over "bare bones." At the time, our daughter, who in the year 2000 was 9, had decided to live with mom, and so, with my then husband's written, signed and oral permission/physical help, she and I moved back to Manchester, NH, where I had spent most of my life, and where I could have a chance to begin again, and to get us on our feet financially. However, continuation of the cycle of violence through the ex's stalking behaviors, constant threats to kidnap our daughter, (as she and I were living with my 76 year old mother), led me to file for and obtain a permanent restraining order in NH, whereupon my then husband filed for custody and divorce in NJ, four months after we moved,
and even after he had chosen the visitation he wanted on the NH PRO order.

From that point on, we became immersed in a nightmare, 3-year long series, of hellish interstate court battles, which forced me to have to borrow $10,000 dollars from Mom to hire a NJ attorney. Our daughter, who was in the middle of all this, ended up having to be shuttled to and from NJ every other weekend from NH for three years. (I could not continue to live in NJ, as the rents were too expensive, and the way of life too foreign to me, in addition to my being in fear of my safety there, with no family support to rely on, and the fear of retribution from my ex for leaving, all part of this decision.) The shuffling game gradually undermined our daughter's quality of life and her hope to rebuild a new life, in school, social life, and family, as well as my own. In spite of my determination not to be re-immersed myself in a control/vengeance situation, while also seeing to my daughter's visitation rights, and also my concern for her safety, the years from 2000 to 2003 were very difficult, to the point that to think about it or recall the challenges is nearly impossible.

The ex threatened to kidnap our daughter, citing me to be insane, (and this seemed to work very well with everyone he spoke with), even as he saw his daughter at least twice a month (and on most vacations), and spoke to her any time he chose through a phone line that was set up for him to contact her without me having to interface with him. Repeatedly threatened (to our daughter) that he would put me in jail if I could not make the trip with a car that had over 150,000 miles on it to NJ, even though I did it for a year and a half until the car died, and had no money to get another one (as he had also started identity fraud, using my ss#).

In addition, for some reason, the courts in Bergen County, NJ are very lax, and all the transcripts and files related to any hearing I attended there on behalf of my daughter and my divorce disappeared completely, over a period of !three years. The ex's large, extended and quite wealthy Italian family boasted two lawyers, and so while he was able to find complete legal advocacy, I struggled with one lawyer who without our knowledge squandered my mom's money to buy oxycontin (I did not know in NH that he was an unsavory lawyer until well after he had taken the case on and withdrawn suddenly, two and ½ years later).

In 2002, another attorney tried to help; she phoned me after finding a NJ law journal article demonstrating that the first attorney had been disbarred 8 months previously (and had several felony convictions pending in NJ), it was discovered that the court files in Hackensack, NJ were empty, and that the judge had permitted the disbarred attorney in NJ court after he had been disbarred (at least twice). This shock did not end at the divorce, which went default, after I was led to believe by the second attorney that a hearing would occur, based on the facts included in NH laws. In fact, my ex broke the NH restraining order several times, and was arrested twice in NH, but the NJ courts never recognized anything that happened in NJ, and so my daughter was placed in the middle, not only of two parents embroiled in a complex interstate custody battle involving domestic violence, but between two states and two courts, one that seems to find it normal to make transcripts disappear at will.

In my own divorce, I paid for the transcripts in NJ for the hearing I attended and was forced to accept as default, and two weeks, later, was told that these transcripts did not exist, and neither did any of the other transcripts related to the supposed hearing at which the superceding of jurisdiction from NH to NJ occurred. The court's citing of missing files and transcripts happened on several occasions, even with a brand new attorney. (I even have a signed document from the judge that gave permission for the files to be destroyed. I've learned that this practice is common in some courts.

In addition, there was an active PRO that I obtained in NH to protect us; we were receiving death threats by phone, and the ex threatened to kidnap our daughter. In three years, the ex broke the NH order several times, and was arrested twice in NH. He was ordered to anger management therapy in NJ. Not at any time did the state of NJ recognize any of his breaches of law, some of which were FEDERAL LAWS.

 So the question remained: what was best for our daughter, and what is best for a mom who has no money, is in another state (with the ex's permission), and has left domestic violence to do? Last July, during a one month visitation with her Dad, our daughter was kidnapped by my ex husband. To make this part of the complicated story short, I managed, with a few weeks of return receipt letter-writing and FBI calling, to circumvent the kidnapping part of the scenario at the last minute.

Knowing that my daughter had reached a natural point of extreme boiling anger, due to an impossible and anguish-filled life scenario, (she had reached puberty, and had begun to lash out at me and mom, threatening to kill herself and to kill us, three months before she left on visitation- she had been in counseling, and was being considered for DBT therapy in NH), I realized that perhaps she might decide to live with her father for awhile, and that, if she did, that this would be ok, and I would have to let her go, but that this would be the hardest thing as a mom to do.

The only reason I found the strength to leave the marriage was to try to turn her life around, and once I left I knew, no matter what, that I could not return to a situation in which my belongings were destroyed or thrown out, and in which I was strangled, and punched and mentally coerced and tortured, alternately. If our daughter was choosing such a situation, with all the corruption I would have to fight, then what was the point of destroying my life in the process of saving her?

In addition, I could barely get to the point of making ends meet, as I was working full-time, but still getting on my feet and trying to juggle all this, and I still had no working car (the ex forged my name on the IRS taxes and someone also started identity fraud so that I could not get any credit- he did not work a full-time job, so he claimed only 14,000 a year of income- every penny that came in for child support was earmarked to pay a driver to bring our daughter to and from NJ.)

The upshot: last August, with my daughter in crisis, I had to get really honest with myself: I could not keep an extremely physically demanding job in NJ and keep up impossible court proceedings in both NJ and NH (I have a history of SLE (lupus) and asthma). When our daughter came back, she was wearing a set of 4 inch devil horns glued with superglue to her forehead. She was donned in a brand new gothic wardrobe, and she began a relentless barrage of anger and swearing heaped on me and mom. She stayed for 11 days, and in that time, after I ascertained in talks with her, that she wanted to live with dad, I simply felt that I had to let her go.

From that day on, I've tried to move on as best I can, one step at a time. I had told my daughter when she left that I could not have contact with her father, and that if I had contact with her, he might use whatever was said to hurt her or to try to stalk or hurt me, so I could not let that happen to any of us anymore. NO MORE.

As her mom, I would no longer put her in the middle.

We set it up so that I share legal custody, and that I have access to her legal records. I have no contact with her, and I pay for her health insurance and dental insurance. She can write to me via physical mail. She has only sent a couple of cards.

I read her online journal daily. She seems to be ensconced in a gothic lifestyle, replete with sex, drugs, shaved eyebrows with painted spirals to replace them. Her older half-brother plays for the newly famous Dresden Dolls band, (whose subject matter includes all manner of sexual abuse and perversion in all the lyrics); she idolizes the lead singer, whose gothic lifestyle naturally would attract her as a young teen. In May, I read her journal that stated her Dad took a sledgehammer to her room, (he had been ordered by the state of NH to take anger management courses in NJ for six months- this I had agreed to in return for the reduction of a first-class felony charge to a misdemeanor, so that when our daughter visited him she would be safer). This July, I read online that Dad sent her out to Missouri to stay with his brother's family for a month.

She has not posted to her journal in about a month. I pray for her daily. I mourn her daily. I can't seem to hold a baby without crying. But I'm still standing, and go to work every day. Most people have no idea. And Maia, she and I share a special bond that no one will ever take away. And this doesn't require proximity, or communication. When I go to school, I face 600 pairs of arms with their own issues, some much worse. I live, not for the past 15 years that I've had to cut out of my life, but for moments. Precious. You can love any child as your own. That much I have learned. That, and the acceptance: Life isn't always fair.

Sometimes life can be so difficult, but when it does, the only way is to let go. I'm wondering if there are other moms going through this?

Name: Sharon Thompson    Location:   Hawthorne, CA

Email Addr:  jlick4life6969@aol.com

Children/Birth Date:  Joseph Thompson 8/13/1990
Michael Thompson 12/30/1991
Sarah Thompson 12/17/1993
Phillip Thompson 9/27/1996

Date Separated:  Sept.2003, then got 2 of them back in December 2003, and then they took those 2 back away in April 2004

Current Status: Have to go back to court in November

so much was unfair in my dealings with social services and family court. First of all I was complying with cps and family preservation. I was awaiting family preservation services that was promised to me because I was going through financial hardships but before they came through with those services my kids were taken away.

Our normal social worker went out on sick leave to have surgery.  She was a good worker and was helping us.  A lot of things were looking up for the first time in a long time. I was getting help and I had been separated from my abusive ex for a year and then she went on sick leave and on Monday morning a social worker came and took all my kids away.  was in shock! I explained that I  was complying with cps and family preservation but they said my house was a mess and we didn't have beds.  Couches weren't acceptable but even the cops that were called out said that they would have left them that it wasn't that bad.  Family preservation were getting me the cleaning supplies and paint and bed needed to fix up the house.  Then in court I find out that I am being accused of neglecting my kids by being abused around them.  If I would have left him he would have killed me!

Name: Rita Foster    Location:   Baltimore, MD

Email Addr:  Rmelcar@aol.com

Children/Birth Date:  Rita Riley 4/7/67

Date Separated:  1997

I was falsely accused a drug abuse and abandonment. In 1997 My mother told the baby sitter to go home she then call CPS and made false claims that I abused my children . She would go on to collect $5000 dollars a month Section 8 rent subsidies that allowed her to pay only $15 a month in rent . I had no family no one to turn. God blessed me with a wonderful husband who helped educate me and fund my fight for custody of my children  My children were retuned to me but we are now experiencing problems.  Recently my 15 yr old assaulted my husband. He was arrested.  He then later lied and said he was hurt by my husband . This is a direct result of the years he spent with my mother and her alienation of me as his mother.  We are currently in court where my mother gets another chance to bilk the system and abuse my my children's minds.

I would like to see the rights of parents protected. At the moment any one can make a false claim of abuse and harass me or anyone with this legal torture. My children who are at home are afraid that any time they may be taken away.

Name: Mike Demers    Location:   Fort Collins, CO

Email Addr:  mjd910@hotmail.com

Children/Birth Date:  Alexander, March 1999

Date Separated:  August 1998

Current Status:  I receive a monthly bill

My wife, an officer in the military (as was I at one time) gave me an ultimatum to move out in July 1998. I insisted on marriage counseling, talking with the preacher, whatever; but, she persisted. Two months later she told me she was pregnant but had planned in not telling me. I had moved to Colorado, 1000 miles from her and had transferred schools. I was in graduate school ironically studying marriage and family therapy. She changed her phone number in her office and moved from our home. Her family refused all communication with me.

In March 1999 her father emailed my mother who called me to say that I was a new father. His name is Alexander. My wife called me a few days later and reinitiated communications. During her transfer she allowed me to see Alex. She used that opportunity to take my car from me (marital property) when I returned to work. I was highly emotional at that point, mostly angry that Alex had been taken from me and that he was used as a tool to take more.

She did not tell me, by the way, where she had been re-stationed. I had to call friends from the Air Force to find out. When I tracked her down she told me she would file harassment charges if I continued attempts to contact her. I pleaded for the sake of my son and she said "Alex has nothing to do with you and me, he is just a product of our relationship." Now, I'm no Socrates but that seems paradoxical to me.

Anyway, so I told her I wanted to live near him and she told me if I moved to Ohio (where she had been transferred) she would request a transfer and if I continued bothering her she would file a restraining order. At this point, there was no legal definition because I was still married to her. In summer of 2000 she filed for divorce and was granted full custody because I had no relationship with Alex... duh. When I told her I wanted a relationship with him she told me that if I persisted she would use Alex to 1) make my life hell, 2) make it financially impossible to finish graduate study (I had finished masters-level study and had moved to Penn State for doctoral work) and 3) have me thrown in jail.

I persisted so she filed for child support that deemed that I should pay 22% of my PRE-tax income to her. I could not finish my doctoral work. I was so angry, again, not just that my son had been taken from me but that he was being used against me and not for his benefit. She then turned and said that I denied him a father because I left her when she was pregnant. There is no answer to this.

Today my present struggle is to do the right thing for Alex. I send him cards and letters regularly, at least semi-monthly, and pray for him constantly. I find strength in trying to do the right thing as God called parents to raise their children to know Him. God called us to be responsible to those who He has placed in our care. How to do this in an adulterous and deceitful world is not something unique to our generation. How to be a godly parent when your children are out of your care is a difficult dilemma. I do not know how to do this. I am not sure how to glorify Him but I must trust that there is a reason we have experienced our pain.

When an opponent refuses to come over to our side I calmly tell him, "Your children belong to us already... who are you? You will pass on and soon all that your children will know is this new community." ----Adolf Hitler

Name:   Douglas Cantwell  Location:   Ionia, MI

Email Addr:  dougiedoogal@yahoo.com

Children/Birth Date:  Amanda Marie Cantwell 02/07/94
Leah Mitchell Cantwell 07/19/96

Date Separated:  2002

Current Status:  Had Joint Custody, one week on, one week off, for three years after divorce. Waited 18 months for a court date, never any child support previous. Then the court date lasted 20 minutes, and was told that I would have my verdict in the mail to me within 30 days. 57 days later, got it, an backdated $14,700 an told to pay within 30 days or go to jail.

Actual reading I typed a letter to the court on the last day of the trial...no lawyer.

March 2002

Judge Meil

Your Honor,

I want to open with stating what I wanted three years ago, is still what I want to stand for today..........Equal time with the children in my life. I pray to the court to return to myself, what I have established prior to all these hearings. At the Friend of the Court, in the last 18 months ago, being in front of yourself, your honor.

On August 28th, 1997 I came home to an empty house, with just my children's clothes and the Plaintiff's Office Equipment gone. I got sued for divorce, (no fault divorce) on the 29th, one day later, according to the paperwork. For there was a break down in the marital relationship, to the extent that the objects of matrimony have been destroyed. In the Plaintiff's eyes.

I went to the Friend of the Court on the 3rd of September and wanted my rights as a father to be held. They stated (Friend of the Court) that I would have to wait for a hearing of the conciliation, till I could have the set times of my children's right to visitation of their father. The Plaintiff believed at that time, she was the Primary Care Giver. I had no discrepancy with that.

But at the time of our separation, and before the Friend of the Court Conciliation Hearing, your honor, I went nineteen overnights without my children, in a home that they only knew. I went to the Friend of the Court on the third, Grand Ledge Police Department on the sixth, back to the Friend of the Court on the eighth, an the eleventh of September.

Your Honor, all I had to listen to... was the Plaintiff's reasons why she wouldn't allow me to take the children, and that reason being she only would allow me to visit with the children in the home that she moved into, and that was of her mothers. Until she had seen the paperwork from the Friend of the Court to when I would be picking them up, and the time that I would be returning them, to her mother's home.

With the fears of that I would take off with the girls, and not return with them. A fear of what she had just done to me for the last nineteen nights. I was on the phone, many times a day, with the Plaintiff, to get some kind of understanding of seeing our daughters with equal time for the both of us.

When the day came, at the Friend of the Court, for the conciliation hearing. It was myself that stated, I wanted the children on the days the Plaintiff was to be traveling for her work, those days, being Monday, Tuesdays. So that would allow myself to have them from a Friday at six, till that Tuesday at six. So began the rights of our children to see their father after nineteen nights without.

With that arrangement working till march of 1998, six months later. Then again a romantic relationship between the Plaintiff and myself till June, and then again, reasons for the Plaintiff to stop the relationship. Our arrangement with the girls was back to the rights of visitation we agreed upon at conciliation.

On the 23rd of August, 1998, I approached the Plaintiff, on a night of my visitation pickup, with stating...that I needed the shot records and Social Security numbers of the girls, because I sought the enrollment of them in St. Peter and Paul's School. She at that time, became very angry, an started to control the movement of the girls with bags packed for my weekend. She then, picked up the phone, and called the Grand Ledge Police Department.

I waited for the officers to get there, and I left the Plaintiffs apartment without the children. The officers told myself, that I would have to take up with the Friend of the Court, this instance, and they told me to leave. The following Monday, I did just that. With help from Mrs. Haddix, at the Friend of the Court, the girls were back in my custody, later that Monday the 24th, for my visitation.

With a meeting place that I set up, in front of the Portland Police Department, the only times where exchange of the girls will now be. (show P.P.O) Your Honor, contrary to what is lead by the Plaintiff's lawyer, the P.P.O. and the meeting in front of the police station, was set up by myself, not the Plaintiff, as he is leading to the court.

Ten days passed your Honor, after the altercation an the next visit with myself with our daughters, on the eleventh of September. I found out that our daughter had already been to a school in Grand Ledge, without myself even given the courtesy of knowing, or the court. And this your Honor was a topic at the last meeting in the Friend of the Court. (admitted in hearing September 22 transcripts. Pg. 20 Lines 16-19) And this is a joint environment?

This being the third time that my lawyer an myself, brought this schooling issue up, before the hearings. At conciliation, and parenting time hearing. At the parenting time hearing an issue about what she brought to the attention of the court, about a medical ordered eye patch that Amanda was suppose to wear, that was done for the day that she was in question of. This eye patch was supposed to be worn 5-7 hours a day, and that day, the Plaintiff came to pick the girls up, was 2:30 in the afternoon. Your Honor, I wake with the break of day, and so do the girls when they are in my realm. The patch was done for it's time. Contrary to what is led to be believed by the Plaintiff.

Also on that parenting time hearing, an issue was brought up, by the Plaintiff that I was exposing our daughters to a exhaust leak on my car. Your Honor, I ask you, an the Plaintiff. That if I had such problem, then how did the Plaintiff know to come an pick them up an myself getting them, when I got my other new truck? But yet they never were in the car?

The prior hearing of Conciliation, an with the issues at the Parenting Time, Schooling was brought up, but Ms. Hoseth called them only an ancillary issue? An wouldn't address at that time? Does this not perpetuate this until now? Your Honor, is was an issue, an one that should have been addressed, an issue brought up at least three times (page 16, September 22 hearing transcripts.)

Out of that hearing, verdict to be, I would be transporting our daughter Amanda to preschool, in Grand Ledge, (35 minutes away) on her schooling day, which was on a Tuesday, the last day of my visitations with our girls. But still on the set days of my right's to visitation. (Page 32,33,34 September Tran- scripts.) Once again, like at conciliation, I had to revolve around the Plaintiff's schedule. An done so. I stated in the September hearing, that if she hadn't subjected the children to another county, that the home rule should have became into play for the parents involved. (Page 24, lines 11-13 September Transcripts)

I then changed my days to Wednesday at 6 to Friday at 6, an Wednesdays thru Sunday, every other weekend. To which was an option at the hearing or motion addressed in September. September thru December, I transported our daughters school. Was involved in the Thanksgiving an Christmas events at Amanda's School. Was a class Father twice during that time. (These were not noted By Ms. Stoners recommendation but Dawn's times at the schooling was? Why is this your honor?)

Again....in the latter part of September, thru to October 31st, the date of my offense with the State of Michigan. My impaired Driving Offense, the Plaintiff an myself were involved in a romantic relationship.. .once again your Honor. After the September Hearing at the Friend of the Court. When I received my impaired offense...I called the Plaintiff the day I was released, for that was the day of pick up for what was on the scheduled time set up by now this new hearing date. An I would be late for that 6 o'clock pickup.

Later that week, I received a piece of mail from the Friend of the Court, stating that the Plaintiff wants a motion again, in front of the Friend of the Court, to terminate my ex- tended Parenting Time. (February 2, 1999 Transcripts) I then in the later part of December, Lost my privilege  to drive, for a year, two weeks after, I changed to the optional days, of her work schedule, to transport our girls to an from school.

With the change in visitation days, the ability of not driving in December thru February, I had the children for 15 over- nights in January an lost those rights, according to the Friend of the Court with what they had mailed to myself on the 3rd of February. Then again ...your Honor.. our daughters' were without the established environment that they have come accustomed to.

Myself, your Honor, now to have the children every other weekend...with no over- nights during the week, with a meeting place for the exchange of the children to be in Woodbury, halfway from here to Grand Ledge, to which I set up with the Plaintiff, for I was working on the west side of the State, an Portland, now the girls' third city of residence, would be easier for the Plaintiff, if I did that. She agreed.

With now, an order from the Friend of the Court, to which they couldn't have taken the children or set a schedule for myself, without a denovo review, I was a lost man. I then sought out a lawyer of a friend of mine, an just so happens that she went to school in Lansing with Ms. Hosteth, the referee of the Friend of the Court.

Upon the first consultation of this lawyer, my new lawyer made one simple phone call to the Friend of the Court, an spoke with her, (Ms. Hosteth) old schooling buddy, an reminded her, that she was not following the letter of the law, of removal of the children from visitation with myself. I had the children back in my sight, later that afternoon!!. An a hearing set, finally, for what the Friend of the Court had already done. An that was to have a hearing so that the stipulation of what the Plaintiff was trying to achieve. Full Custody. I then hired this lawyer, her to be my second lawyer. Stiff fee to be, but yet, retained.

Your Honor, I was incarcerated, from the 4th of March till the 14th of March. For the sentence of my ten days thru Lenewee County, for the offense of the Impaired Driving. For those days, that I was incarcerated, there was to be seven days in there, that my visitation rights of our daughter's were to be with me. While being incarcerated in jail, I made a collect phone call to my mother, for her to take the girls for the days that were to be mine, an exercise her Grandparents Rights to them. The Plaintiff agreed to my mother's phone call.

Also, during this incarceration, I was to have paid my new lawyer a very large sum of money for a retaining of her knowledge, or so called court skills. That ability, your Honor, wasn't an agreement that I could keep. So during that time, she, dropped as my lawyer, but activated a series of events, that lead us to today. She got the hearing set for the 19th of March, to be rescheduled  for when I was available, instead of incarceration.

Upon exit from incarceration... I didn't know what an option for a man, that, couldn't defend, but yet, wanted to more than anything in the world. So I punted. Called the Friend of the Court, an got a new hearing scheduled. The hearing for the 19th came...without the money to hire or retain a lawyer, I went to the hearing. In that hearing, the Friend of the Court had brought up that I didn't so called follow their insisting that a evaluation of not only the Plaintiff, but myself...be done. I hadn't had the chance to be at the eval, but one was scheduled after this 19th date.

Abiding by the restrictions set upon myself, from the Lenewee County Courts, for my driving under the influence, probation, an the Orders out of the last Friend of the Court hearing, an in need of a lawyer. I went on, with blinders call it. But still sought out the retainment of our children back to the situation that they had become to known...... Equal time with their father.

With the problem of getting a hold of Dr. Meyers, the Friend of the Court Evaluator, an getting a date for that appointment, the hearing on the 19th got a continuance. Now your Honor, were into four months, of waiting for end to this process. The continuance of this hearing got re-scheduled for the 11th of June. On the 19th,it was writing by my ex-lawyer, the reason that I couldn't be at the hearing, was cus I was to be incarcerated in Lenewee County, an able not to make the hearing. I wasn't in jail, but unaware that the hearing was for the 19th, cus I wasn't told, by now this ex-lawyer that I couldn't afford.

I'm not saying that it is my ex-lawyers fault, but things are the way they are, an I cannot change paperwork. It was my fault, cus I was not aware of the process when a lawyer drops from a case. But out of the hearing, the case of our daughters rights, was to be scheduled for a Denov review. An the referee at the Friend of the Court, saw that the paperwork that I had put in, an the appointments with their own Evaluator, was within reasonable time for a re-scheduling of this case. (page 8 April Transcripts) All pending a hearing on the 11th of June now. ...7 months into this longevity. But still myself having the girls, one week on, one week off. During this time.

June 11th hearing came, I had the opportunity to hire yet another lawyer. ADAM Advocate Divorce Association for Men. Young lawyer, still green. Went to the hearing, an with the intention of gaining back a equal environment with our girls, the eval done, probation an all court ordered stipulations of Lenewee County been served. In the June hearing, Mr. Kemtz, got myself every other weekend, half of the summer, an birthdays, no child support, just as had been all of this time. But the case to be saw in front of yourself. For September 22nd. (now 10 months into this). This I could handle temporarily. Until it got to a real court, instead of just the Friend of the Court.

Now came the September hearing, in front of yourself. My lawyer, still ADAM. The day was long. Things about the Plaintiff, myself, an what was on the evaluation of the Friend of the Court Evaluator, were brought up. Myself, being found, by the Evaluator, to be the best fit parent. An the Plaintiff's past mental stability in question. But yet, praised by her lawyer, an the court, to be commended, at her recovery. An proud that she has moved on.

Both lawyers having people from my side, and hers on the stand in front of yourself. Myself being on the stand, when the calendar.. .(the times that I had logged down), that I had the girls over the last three years. An my lawyer at that time, made the days that I had the girls on pickup, from their mothers. Count as a day for myself, an not for their mother.

The Plaintiff's lawyer, then calling me to the stand, an making the whole hearing.. .about...the times that were not of what they were, or stated by my lawyer...my fault, an myself, lying to the court. Well, at the point of that being directed to myself, your Honor, if you will recall...(I don't have the transcripts for that hearing with me), I couldn't afford them.. .for that 6 hour hearing. So if I recall right, I stated at the time Mr. Balice questioned or rather directed...that I lied to the court.

I stated, to what I gave to my lawyer with my times, an stated that it was him (my lawyer) that changed the times for the benefit of more days being with the girls. An not I that changed them dates....The hearing at that time, was late in the day, an yourself, your Honor, told the court, that the hearing would then have to be re-scheduled for a different date. I turned to yourself at that time, an asked.. In a couple days? Next week? An yourself, turning to the clerk, to check the schedule. Herself, stating to you, that March 12th, would be the next available court date. An you concluded the hearing till then.

Far as I have copied, from the transcripts of almost 2 years of waiting for a verdict from the courts. As it stands today, I don't have the girls---the equal time...Was backdated 14,700 dollars, an demanded to pay $5800.00 within 30 days, or go to jail.  I will not allow a system to tell myself when or when not I can be a father.....

Sincerely (the Nelson Mandela of Fathers)

Doug Cantwell

Name:   Doug Deal  Location:   Flagstaff, AZ

Email Addr:  Hawkz2eyez@aol.com

Children/Birth Date:  Andrew Thomas  2001

Date Separated:  August 1, 2004

Current Status:  Child custody and a false domestic violence charge

My name is Doug, I live in Northern Arizona, I have a beautiful 3 year old son that I have raised since he was a minute old. What a gift.

When his mother found out she was pregnant the 1st thing she did was scratch me down the side of my face, then for weeks screamed and hollered I had trapped her. Here I was so happy to be getting a baby and she was just flat insane.

What I will do real quick is cut to the chase. I work at the local hospital 4/10hr shifts. I would get off on Friday mornings and don't go back to work till Monday nights. Starting last April my sons mother would leave when I got home Friday mornings and not return till I went to work Monday night. Leaving me to take care of our son the whole time. No phone calls nothing. I would ask where the hell have you been, she would say, none of your business. I said she was neglecting and abandoning her son, and abusing him, she would say, ahh that's your crap, he will adjust just fine. This went on for 13 weeks. She would pop in on occasion and say, hey I'm really enjoying my life. I would look down at our son, thinking, she is enjoying her life without her son.

So I filed for joint custody, When I did, boy did hell come to town. emotion blackmail, coercion, manipulation, everything you can think of, to get me to pull the custody papers. I never gave up. She would take care of him the nights I worked when she got her own place. Thought things would go a little better, lol NOT. She was still playing or doing what ever, yet now she was having me grovel and beg for my son. Sometimes for days before she would let me see him. Tell me I'm a good mother, tell me you trapped me. Trying to get me to say things that weren't true. I knew I was being beat up, however I thought I could handle this. It will get better. NOT, that was my denial. I was being battered and abused and didn't even realize it.

Then on August 1st I got my son, and in the mail came an order of protection, accusing me of Domestic Violence. Never been arrested, the cops had never been called, nothing. Yet here I was looking at my little boy being accused of DV. I called her up told her to come and get Andrew, that I was done. I couldn't take the torture anymore. She laughed and had the police come over. Well when they came I was giving Andrew a bath they tried all this psycho babble crap. I dressed Andrew, gave him a kiss, told him I loved him and broke down crying. I looked at one of the cops and said I love him so much. The cop said, there is no doubt about that.

On Monday I went to work and stopped in on Behavioral Health, knowing the counselors in there. I said, tell me what's going on, they asked me to share, when I was about done one of the counselors stood up and said Doug you sound like a battered wife. I laughed and he handed me a pamphlet on Battered Spouses, I read the symptoms and wow, finally I had something. In that pamphlet it had websites and help phone lines, I used the heck out of both of them. Learn, learn, ask for help.

I also went to counseling, for me and what was going to happen to our son. I got such good help. I had this fear in me that no one would hear me. That the mother would get anything she wanted. That was part of the abuse she instilled in me to control me. Ill take Andrew, you will never see him again, and Ill break you, Ill get all the child support I want. You will die lonely and broke.

When I gave Andrew over to her, I didn't see him for 6 weeks. No phone calls, nothing. It was the most painful time of my life. Like he was dead, and I was grieving. I put in a temporary order of show cause.

While Andrew was away, I learned about parental alienation. About malicious mothers, and still kept working on me being battered. Even though I wanted to run, even though it felt like I was on fire, my friends kept helping me along. Don' t run, don' t quit, stay the course, not for you for the good of your son.

We went to court on the 15th of September. I testified about all the things that went on. we spent an hour in court, the judge stood up. Said he would like to have heard my sons mothers side of the story, however it seems that Doug is the primary care giver. That he will get his son 3/4 day weekends a month. I started crying. For the 1st time in 3 yrs, I finally could love my son without interference. NOT, she still continues to file all these motions. Still continues to try and control me with lies. Yet for some strange reason, I still keep getting my son. The people in the courts do see what's going on. and my counselors continue to help me with the emotional abuse my sons mother is instilling in him.

There is help out there. There are people who have lived this and made it thru it. Most of all the courts have changed. They do care about the children and want what's best for them. No gender, not money, guns or lawyers can keep our children from us. So today please don't ever give up. I never will. My son Andrew is a gift, and he expects his dad to do everything in his power to keep him safe from abuse.

There is a lot more to this story, however I have Andrew and he wants to go ride his bike, so after all I have learned I'm in the passenger seat, he is the driver. I will follow him into his future and smile from the scars I have. Knowing I have done everything in my power to love him.---Peace, Doug

 The public and media need to know, along with the fathers that are soon to come that Domestic Violence just isn't a women's issue, it has no age, color or gender, it affects all who come into contact with it. The people need to know.

 

Name:   Amanda Donehoo  Location:   Thomaston, GA

Email Addr:  pursacat@hotmail.com

Children/Birth Date:  Jadyn Donehoo 12/13/01
Joey Donehoo 05/19/03

Date Separated:  August 19, 2004

On August 19, 2004, DFACS and the Lamar county narcotics came to my home saying they had a call that me and my husband were abusing the kids, each other, and using drugs heavily. They had no search warrant or a court order to do anything. I wasn't home at the time of their arrival and my husband was outside. They asked to see the kids and when he went in to get them, the followed him in, uninvited. My two sons were in their room playing and my husband had put up a baby gate in front of their door to keep them out of harm's way while he was out talking to the neighbors. He could clearly see the boys from their window and could see they were in no danger. Well, our home was a little messy, not filthy and they used that to take my kids from me. They put them into my mother's care and said if we cleaned our house, that in a week they would return our children. We have this in writing from them.

A week later, they came back, inspected our home and said it was fine but needed to talk to my parents. I had no idea what was going on. So we went back to my mom's and that's when they said because of domestic abuse they were going to put my children into foster care. They didn't even have a court order and my sister made them drive back to Lamar county to get it. After that, they took my kids and I wouldn't see them again for 3 weeks. Every visit since then, my kids have had black eyes, human bite marks on them, cuts and horrible marks all over their bodies. The foster parents don't know what happened to them. Recently we went to court about our case plan. And it was brought up that because of our religious beliefs, we didn't want to vaccinate our children. They said we needed papers to show that we were telling the truth. The next week we went in with over 600 pages of documents and my lawyer wouldn't allow us to present most of it. I began to cry and the judge ordered me from the court room. While out, she ordered my children be vaccinated anyways. I was hysterical. And my lawyer said there was nothing I could do and that my children belong to the state. My story has more but I will just mention the high lights. This is a cruel and unjust system and we are currently fighting them. I never thought this could happen to us. But it did.

We are very loving parents and we don't deserve this. They took our kids saying we "deprived" them because of the domestic abuse. But that was dropped for not enough evidence. So what are we depriving them of if what we were supposedly depriving them of was because of domestic abuse?? Someone please help us. I love my babies and I want them home. And I want these wicked people punished for what they have done to us and so many families like us.

My goal is to inform the public about the secret lies and misuse of power these people are doing, and to put a stop to it.

Name:   Daniel Foster  Location:   Henderson, NV

Email Addr:  Dannna777@yahoo.com

Children/Birth Date:   Ryan Daniel Foster 1999
Daniel Jack Foster, Jr. 2000

Date Separated:  unknown

 Three years ago the mother of my two beautiful daughters who lived in Nevada died. I flew out to Nevada to arrange for their being brought back to New Jersey after the funeral. I arrived a day early unannounced happy to see my family in New Jersey only to find that the boys
mother was having an affair.

She said she did not want the girls to live with us and was not sure of our continued relationship at all. I prayed hard to God to change her heart knowing she must be overwhelmed. One week later she left the home and did not return all night. The wife of the man she was having an affair with called me and told me they were together and that is why they were both not at home.

She finally called at around 4:00AM and I told her what I knew and suggested it was probably better for her not to come home that night. She, in fact, did not come home for two nights. Early the next morning there was a knock at the door and the police were they with a restraining order stating that I beat her and my boys. I have NEVER raised a hand to a woman or a child in my life!!! I had five minutes to get some belongings and get out of the house.

That was the beginning of the worst nightmare imaginable. I had to call the State of Nevada and tell them I was actually homeless temporarily and could not come out to Nevada to claim my daughters till I went to court. Nevada asked why I was going to court and when I told them they said either I signed the children over to their grandparents or they were going into a Foster Home immediately. I signed them over.... (My IN-Laws from the prior marriage are good people. I trusted them and still do. I now have one of the two girls living with me three years later and the other when she goes to the junior High will start
living with me).

So, I get a lawyer and go to court to fight this outrageous lie. I win. The judge completely threw the restraining order out dismissing it. Stating it was an obvious attempt by her to remove me from my own home and a case of a domestic dispute but not of domestic violence. I leave the court house a vindicated man thinking, this is all behind me.... I actually drive straight to the Power Company and pay their bill because I didn't want it shut off. I call her on the phone and say I forgive her, lets just do what is right for the children and continue with our separate lives... and then I fly to Las Vegas to be near my daughters in their bereavement. After all, my life there was pretty much over... I now had no job since I got fired because of not being able to get to work on time, having to use the trains (when I was removed from my home with the retraining order my car had a flat tire... I could not drive it off the property and therefore had to leave it there till court was over a month later), no place to live (I had been sleeping on a friends floor awaiting trial)... and decided to try and put my life back together and then return to New Jersey with my daughters and be
near my boys.

But it was hard, very hard find a job in Nevada... it took me a week to find a 6 dollar an hour job, then just as I was promised a good job at the Flamingto... 9/11 hit and everyone got laid off our their hours cut and no one was hiring new employees at all.

Meanwhile, I called her everyday in New Jersey but she never answered the phones. Then, finally, the Landlord called me and asked for the rent saying that she had taken the boys and moved.

I called her friends and family, no one would tell me where she was.

Then, imagine this, I get hit with ANOTHER RESTRAINING ORDER stating I am in New Jersey chasing her around with a knife and my NEW WIFE (whoever THAT might be I have no idea) beside me.

Why did she do this? Because she knew I would not have the money to fly back to New Jersey, pay for the attorney again ($3,500.00), leave work, and maybe lose my only job.

In New Jersey a temporary restraining order is permanent until it is addressed in court. But I cannot afford to do this. IN the meantime she is keeping me out of contact from my children. I cannot even call a third party to ask how they are. My mother and my other children have begged to be allowed to see those boys yet they get no response from her family.

Meanwhile the Lord has blessed me.... I started making sandwiches for Subway at 6 an hour and now run the company (14 stores). I make a decent living and pay eleven hundred a month in child support. The State enforces this but does nothing to demand I be allowed even the privilege of speaking to my children.

I want to be a part of this lawsuit... this class action... even though I have not been a part of my boys life these three years it IS BECAUSE OF HER!!!

Directly after the trial wherein I had the Restraining Order dismissed she promised that we would enjoy joint custody... then she starts doing this. I feel the State of New Jersey doesn't give a dang about my boys. How can they force me to pay child support but only state that the Restraining Order has to be addressed in person all the way from Nevada? They do NOTHING to insure my rights and simply take my money. No wonder she doesn't feel any compunction to allow me to see my boys. If the State is going to authorize the removal of my money from my paycheck they should ALSO authorize my being a part of my children's lives, false restraining orders notwithstanding. Also, a victim of her abuse of process should have some kind of remedy to protect myself from this in court.

Her ex-best friend recently called my attorney to state that it is her, the boys mother's, intention to continually hit me with restraining orders and knowing that I cannot afford to fight them from Nevada. She also intends to hit me with an adjournment the first time I show up, whether the judge will grant this or not, I do not know... depends on the judge.

Please help, please fight!!! This is against our basic right of the pursuit of happiness and enough is enough!!!
 

Name:  Kimberley Horning  Location:   West Branch, MI

Email Addr:  momof4girls48770@msn.com

Children/Birth Date:  Alexandria Nichole Croucher October 12,1988

Date Separated:  January 1996

 I married Greg Croucher Feb 26,1988.I was 4 weeks pregnant. I also have 3 daughters from first marriage and he had 2 children, a boy and a girl. They were to be shared by Greg and Judy.  The day we married Greg intimidated Judy to go into rehab for alcohol abuse, so I suddenly became a full time step-mother which I didn't want nor ask for but I gave it my best shot.  We were together 10 years, married 9. When we met I was in nursing school and worked in a hospital and had my family responsibilities, Greg had just graduated from the Police Academy.

After about 6 years Greg made detective and worked undercover for about 3 years. Our family was threatened, the stress was too much. After that time there were always problems. Domestic violence of which I was always accused, he's a deputy so no way he could be abusive??? Cops are trained to lie, deceive, manipulate and control. I used to tell Greg, were not street people you bust, we are your family. He blurred the lines because I believe he is a mentally sick person. He cheated on me in my car, he used to line my daughters up after I'd go to work and tell them they were worthless and little bitches and God knows what else, I have just found this out. My daughters are now 22,24,and 26.I also have a 2 year old granddaughter whom I adore and spend lots of time with. I realize I'm jumping around a lot but it's a long complicated story. I raised Greg's 2 children for 10 years. He alienated his children from their mom too and now she is dead, drank herself to death.

When someone you thought loved you takes away your child it can make you crazy. I became very self destructive. He had all the power. He knows the court system inside and out and since I reside in MI and he in Palm Beach County FL. I grew up in MI and the stress of raising kids in south FL was too much, I was having a nervous breakdown and Greg wanted me in a psych hospital too, little did I know he was sleeping with my girlfriend. That was Jan 1996. I came to MI to get away from him. I came to MI alone and never got to see my daughter again. The month after I left Greg sent me 2 dozen roses and cards begging me to marry him again, how much he loved and missed me. That was Feb 1996.Within 3 months I was no longer allowed to go home, he moved Natalee, my friend into my house and he started divorce proceedings and told me I'd never see Alex again if he had anything to say about it. I don't understand how I went from the love of his life to such an unfit mom. I still have all the cards he sent and they are dated.

I never saw him again after that January but he was so angry that I would really leave he decided to punish me by taking Alex away from me. When I was 8 months pregnant for her I told him I needed to move out, there was too much stress, his parents gave me a hard time even though I was raising their precious grandchildren, anyhow when I threatened to leave he put his service revolver in his mouth and threatened to kill himself if I left, I agreed to stay, I was terrified. What if the gun had gone off accidentally? He received everything he asked for in the divorce because I was in a psych hospital after getting into a hot tub of water with a filet knife, I wanted to be gone, I couldn't take the pain of being one of "those moms" He got it all by default and he knew I couldn't afford to come to Florida for the proceedings and I was terrified of him. My mom believes he was drugging me. He made sure the final dissolution stopped any attempts I might make regarding the care of my daughter. I have had no contact. I send cards, gifts, letters etc but when I do get a reply it's all about how angry she is that I'm trying to destroy her dad??? I saw firsthand the alienation of Phillip and Caitlin, his kids. They are now on their own. We never received one penny from their mother for child support even though she was an RN and could afford it.

My girls received child support from their Dad until the youngest was 19 and on her own. I have been trying unsuccessfully to get a modification, a telephone hearing anything, I owe over 20,000.00 in child support and am disabled with a genetic disease that has caused many medical problems all my life. I do not work because I can't. I can barely get out of bed in the morning but I do. If I get dehydrated my kidneys go into renal failure. I have uncontrolled hypertension. I am being followed at NIH.

When I came to MI in 1996 with one suitcase I never had any intention of not going back for my girls. Within a few months 2 of my daughters moved to MI and my 24 year old just moved here in Dec 2003 so I have 3 of my 4 daughters near me, in fact I live with 2 of them and my granddaughter. I never had any problems before I met him nor any since I left him. I believe he used the system to take away my parental rights, he knows I will not come to FL to fight him, he would make sure I go to jail for owing child support. Michigan FOC will not enforce due to my disability but the child support keeps accruing I have already been arrested and gone to jail once. What kind of man does this??? Greg's son Phillip is also a deputy in Palm Beach county, and when he was 15 his sister found a shoebox full of panties under his bed.

My girls had been complaining they couldn't find any panties and that's where they were. Not just the girls but mine, his baby sisters, clean panties, soiled panties, bathing suits he had to go thru my daughters drawers for. I couldn't have that with 5 girls in the house so I told Greg he would have to go live with his grandparents. Phillip had always been a troublesome child, couldn't even behave in kindergarten. I went to classes, therapists, shrinks, anything to try to understand this boy but I couldn't. I have reams of letters I sent to Alex. I want my baby back though the damage has been done. I can never get back what Greg took away from me. He was so sick he used to accuse me of Alex not being his child, I  wished she wasn't. I can never get back all the birthdays, holidays, firsts. I am so bitter and angry because I have no faith in the system whatsoever. What ever court would take away a mothers right to parent her own child is no kind of justice, and it's funny all the paperwork is signed by the same judge.

I wonder if he has gone thru proper legal channels? If I try to call Alex on her birthday or holidays he takes out contempt orders on me. Talk about clogging up the legal system, I am 1500 miles away. I think there is something very wrong down there but he has blocked my attempts to try to protect my daughter. Judge Hubert Lindsay from the 15 circuit court has taken my child away and I want her back. I have tried to get on Oprah or Dr. Phil to get publicity about my situation to no avail.  Attorneys are now telling me it would be a waste of money at this point to get her, she'll be 18 in 2 years.

So no I had no representation, and I can't believe a judge would just believe everything he said. I have never been abusive to my children but the judge believed it. Not a day goes by my heart isn't breaking and I feel I will never be happy again till Alexandria is back in my life.

UPDATED Aug 18, 2009

We have contact now, albeit very angry on her part. All $27,000.00 has been paid and spent by dad and wife.

I wrote [my original story] about 6 years ago, at that time I hadn't seen my daughter for 6 years, finally I got to re-meet my child at age 17, 10 long tortuous years. She ended up staying with me for about 4 months and got an opportunity to see how I live, what effect my disease has on me and her child support of $27,000 was spent by her father and hus wife, none of the money was put into trust for her.

When she was 17 it was time for my trip to the National Institutes of Health so Alex went with me then from Washington she was flying to Jacksonville to live with her boyfriend. She had one child, a little boy named Aiden who looks just like his Mama did, her father has temporary custody of him. Figures, another generation ruined. Alexandria is one of the most angry people I have ever seen. I blame this because of the courts to fail to see me and my side of the story. I am disabled with not one rare disease but 2.

 Either one could cause life complicating dangers for me at any time and having my daughter be so angry is so difficult for me, to see her hurt so much. She is 6 weeks due from giving birth to a baby girl whom she is giving for adoption. Right, wrong, or indifferent there is nothing I can do or say. Is she doing it because she doesn't want to lose another child to her father? He will no longer speak with or see her while she is pregnant? What kind of man?

She has no car, or phone and he spent all the money that should have been hers to start her life, she needs it now. A decent father would help her raise her child not take him away, I don't know the whole story so I don't know why she lost custody. Our FOC when I called to complain that Alex was kicked out of her home at age 17 after the money was received and Alex had graduated from a Military academy, his wife's idea. But he left her penniless, he and his wife make a great living and I was told by FOC after fighting for 10 years of getting no contact that "she was probably incorrigible"? I was stunned.

How on earth could they come to this conclusion without so much as a phone call. Alex hates his wife now who also has a daughter who was spoiled over Alex. So she was not only neglected by her own Mother but treated badly by her fathers wife, who also works in the court system. Alex's Dad is a Deputy Sheriff for Palm Beach County, so between he and his wife I had no chance. Alex could have gone to Social Security and told them she didn't get any money and her father would have had to pay her back every penny but she was too afraid to take that action. No way to get thru to her. She wants me to come to Jacksonville for the birth but I cannot do it. I lost my daughter, I can't watch her give her child away. She is so messed up and angry.

I am an undergrad for Advanced start BS in Psychology. Applied behavioral analysis. I want to work with children or parents in decreasing PAS, I see it happening so often and people don't realize how much damage they are doing to their children. Some people are more subtle and I've found most perpetrators are mothers though there are a percentage of fathers who also perpetuate it. We need to enforce parenting classes for divorcing parents, for the children's sake. My granddaughter gets so angry if her father doesn't follow thru but we have to deal with that attitude.

Name:   Wendy Brown  Location:   Newport, NC

Email Addr:  Poohlvr_27@yahoo.com

Children/Birth Date:  Katheryn Brown   1992
Meaghann Brown   1994

Date Separated:  1998

Current Status:  He has temporary full custody. I have visitation when I can afford to go to New Jersey. I am supposed to pay $400 month in child support

My ex husband and his family have money that I can only dream of having. Several of the judges have known my ex husbands father and so no matter what I said or tried to prove it was ignored. I don't have the money for an attorney and was never offered the opportunity for help with one. I never had the opportunity to have a jury. My children only got to talk to a judge once. Then they were 3 & 5, now they are 10 & 12. It has been held against me for being the main supporter of our family at the end of our marriage, I was told I should have stayed home where I belonged. My ex husband was not only verbally and mentally abusive, but near the end of our marriage he was sexually abusive. I was told at the time that New Jersey doesn't recognize marital rape. I was also told that we ( the children and I) to rights to anything. I want the children to go to school in New Jersey, but I wish they could come to my home and visit and to see my mother. My ex husband won't let her see them. My mother hasn't seen my children since they were 3 & 5. In my eyes, my children and I have been royally screwed by the system and their father. Our relationship has been damaged, probably beyond repair. I also can no longer have children thanks to him and that really has hurt.