Hall of Shame (page 4)
Below are more stories of families unjustly separated by the "system" without representation of counsel and/or a Jury of their peers. The starting page, with an index, is here. These people have volunteered their stories so that everyone can understand the true damage being done, and also, so those who may be experiencing your own personal "nightmare" may realize -- you are not alone! We want you to here them in their own words. We can't vouch for the accuracy of these tales and we hope you will understand the bitterness and frustration you will hear in some of these.
Idaho Falls, ID
Children/Birth Date: Angeleah Johnson 1996
Date Separated: May 2009
This story has a little twist to it compared to the others. It is nonetheless painful to everyone involved. I am friends with my husbands ex-wife and have been for 10 years. Their daughter, my stepdaughter was taken from us, literally kidnapped by a 34 year old woman that the biological mother had just met and was staying with because she was separated from her husband in February of 09.
Angeleah had been living with my husband and I for approximately 2 years. She had an argument with her Father over how many new clothes she would get for the upcoming month. The fight was completely verbal with no violence but she had been rebellious for quite some time. Because of this the mother who had joint legal custody with the father decided to take her to be with her for the time being. While they were staying at the woman in questions house, she started brainwashing my stepdaughter that we were all bad parents and couldn't support her and she could do a better job.
This woman took my stepdaughter in a room and shut the door. The mother of my stepdaughter could overhear this woman trying to convince Angeleah that she should live with her. The mother opened the door and said, "What are you telling my daughter? "The woman physically shoved her out of the room and said "It's none of your business!" and slammed the door in her face.
This woman called the police for no reason other than to accuse my friend of being an unfit mother. She told the officer a bunch of lies and the officer forced Angeleah's mother to go over to legal aid and followed her there. He made her sign over parental power of attorney to this woman even though there was no evidence of abuse and the officer made no investigation and didn't even contact cps. It was all over with from start to finish in the space of an hour.
The biological father did not sign over this power of attorney which made it illegal.1 month later the mother revoked the parental power of attorney in writing in front of a notary. An officer brought Angeleah over to our residence. By this time my stepdaughter was so brainwashed by this woman that she didn't want to stay. We kept Angeleah in the school she was in and dropped her off and picked her up every day.
Then in May, the woman in question went to an attorney, which to make a person sick was my husband's current attorney and he petitioned for this woman to have guardianship with no hearing and no consent from the parents and got a 6 month guardianship for this woman. Now as we have seen Angeleah less and less over the course of the summer and she has moved her far away from where we live, she has started to show symptoms of parent alienation syndrome.S
he doesn't even want to be around her two younger siblings at all which is totally uncharacteristic of her. This woman has set up a hearing so that when the 6 month guardianship runs out, it continues until she's 18.We desperately love this girl and she was well taken care of under our care and her mother's. This woman keeps saying we're dangerous but never explains what she means by this.
How can some random person just drop out of the sky and take your child? We have never had cps or anyone else threaten to take our kids or put us through any kind of disciplinary action. Angeleah's parents were denied due process in the courts. To make matters worse, this woman was speeding on icy roads and got in a rollover accident and my stepdaughter suffered injuries. She was cited for speeding, failure to signal and no insurance. It seems like this woman should be charged with crimes and Angeleah should definitely be back with her family.
How can this happen? If this happened to us then every parent should be leary about anyone that takes a liking to your children. We don't have a justice system in America that protects the family unit. It is designed to rip the family unit apart. No one even cares about the emotional damage being done to Angeleah or her siblings, ages 8 and 3. She was so close to them and her parents. I have remodeled and redone our basement with her own bedroom and bathroom and it is so pretty. I did it in hopes that someone will listen and help us get her home. Our hearts are totally broken.
Name:Malcom Hatfield, M.D. Location:
Children/Birth Date: 1989
Date Separated: September 1993
I have gone 25 months since 9/93 with no contact with my daughter. All of this is because my ex mother in law got my daughter to say, "daddy made pee pee on me." when she was 4 yr. old. This launched a criminal investigation that threatened me with prison, loss of license to practice medicine, and civil liability (which mommy would be happy to file against me on my daughter&'s behalf.) No criminal charges were filed and of course the judge, way in over his head (a corporate attorney 6 months earlier with no training, credentials, or experience with false allegations of abuse) hid behind the statement, "if one must err, one must err on the side of the safety of the child." He acted like he was a "hero" because he put the safety of the child first. Naturally, the fact that a mother who is incapable of having a normal relationship with a man is raising my child in a father absent environment was of no concern to him.
I launched a custody trial trying to protect my daughter from the abuses of the system. My attorney got me what he considered to be the "best expert in the world, spare no money". His name is Richard Gardner, MD. In the words of the family court social worker, he "wrote the book on true and false allegations of child sex abuse." Meantime mommy had 15 months to alienate my daughter against me by telling her that I was "naughty" and "why else would the judge side with her?" Dr. Gardner opined that I should be given liberal placement and that mommy was guilty of PAS (parental alienation syndrome). Mommy's expert Dr Corwin opined that I suffered from transient psychosis and of course molested my daughter. Her court appointed attorney; (fresh out of law school) hired an expert at my expense, Dr. Ackerman. He opined that I suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and of course molested her. There was no physical evidence and I passed a polygraph test (inadmissible). The judge took the side of the system and ruled Gardner as not credible.
He justified his ruling by saying that I was "angry" and "had lost it". What exactly he means by this, I have no clue. What they did was bash me in the face and then tell me I am "angry" for reacting by fighting. Following this, my attorney filed a civil suit against my daughter s attorney and his expert for intentional infliction of emotional damage. They are immune. I had to pay them $70,000 or go to jail. Recently, I was hauled into court and held in contempt merely for exercising my freedom of speech by publicizing my horror story. They wanted to throw me in jail for 30 days with no work release, causing me to lose my job, fall behind in my child support payments which would then automatically disallow me from renewing my license to practice medicine, and create the criminal they so want to create. (The criminalization of fathers). The only reason they can't is because they know I will appeal. I have in the past appealed Judge Richard Kreul's decisions; however, the appellate court made it clear that they will stick up for the judge unless he makes an obvious blunder (I hope that means throwing a law abiding, child support paying dad in jail merely for exercising his freedom of speech).
I have no "skeletons" in my closet. No arrest record, history of mental disorders. I am 44 years old with a CV as long as your arm. Your basic success story. The fact that my father died when I was 6 and was raised by my mother was used against me as if somehow someway, that meant I was sexually deviant. How can this happen? I am literally and figuratively speaking impotent to do anything but try to change the system so that the next person won&'t have it so tough. My story happens all the time. The only difference between me and 99% of other victims is that I have the will and the means to fight. They want me to either walk away as most people in my shoes do, or agree to go to "therapy" by their hand picked "therapist". I can't ask what I am being treated for because they won't tell me. They just want to cover their rear incase any of this pops up in the future they can justify their actions by saying "of ! ! course he molested her, why else would he have agreed to go for therapy?" They would then trot out their handpicked "therapist" and ask him/her to state what exactly they gave me therapy for. The answer of course would then be, "for molesting his daughter." This is how the game is played.
When I am allowed contact, I must be strictly supervised by the same supervisor since 11/94 who is a feminazi MSW. She charges $45 per hour. My 86 year old mother, my 47 year old sister and her 3 children must also be supervised at all times at my expense. My current wife, a kindergarten teacher and Master&'s Degree professional and her 9-year-old daughter are not allowed to be alone with my daughter. I must pay her in advance, or I don't see my daughter.
When on the visits, she must remain within earshot at all times and I am strictly forbidden to say or do anything about mommy, her family, the court or its agents, child support etc etc etc. In addition, I must remain in a public place at all times. If I disobey the order, I go to jail for 30 days with no work release. Naturally, Mommy was allowed to move back home to her mother in Illinois, which requires me to pay the feminazi $200 in adva! ! nce for travel cost and time just to get to Illinois, time spent with my daughter is of course extra and at my expense. Overnights or vacations away are strictly forbidden.
When allowed, contact averages 6-9 hours per month. Child support is set at $5,123.00 per month for one child paid to a physician mother who uses the money to pay experts and attorneys to keep me from my daughter. Recently, the Racine County Child Support Division won an award as being the second most efficient division in the State. As one of their cases I can say that divorce and custody determination is a winner take all battle that encourages conflict, hurts children, and deprives them of the parental involvement they need and deserve from both parents. As a result of being raised in a father absent environment, research has shown that my daughter will suffer an increased chance of teenage pregnancy, behavioral disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, adult depression, low self esteem, and problems with adult male relationships among other problems. A strong physical presence of the biologic father in a child's life helps to protect against these ills. Wisconsin may be the dairy state, but fathers are not cash cows.
How would you like it if your child was taken from you against your will, allowed to move out of state, and your "parenting time" limited to a handful of supervised hours per month? How and why does this happen? There are several reasons, but the most compelling reason is because counties receive federal matching funds for every dollar of child support assessed, whether dad pays or not. Money is more important to the system than parental involvement. At this time, I'd like to take partial credit for this award as my contribution of over $410,000.00 to date in child support assessed for one child is paid in full. This means that according to their statement, "more children in our county are receiving the support they are entitled to and which they need, and that means less reliance on public support or non-profit agencies or private charities. These children are receiving better housing, better nutrition and more stability because both their parents are taking proper responsibility for them." You're welcome, Racine County Child Support Division and thank you very little.
I apologize for being so lengthy, but you asked for it. God bless you and I wish you well.
Update below submitted: 7/25/02
Wisconsin Cares About Kids in Racine County Family Court case #93-FA-1107 in the following ways:
1. By giving untrained inexperienced judges, such as Judge Richard J. Kreul, the discretion to choose his own expert with in his words, “impeccable credentials”, namely Ken Waldron, PhD of Madison, WI, and then rule him to be not credible when he sides with dad.
2. By giving untrained, inexperienced judges, such as Judge Richard J. Kreul, the discretion to rule one of the most highly credentialed experts in the world, namely Richard Gardner, MD of Columbia University, New York, not credible simply because his 188 page report that favored dad was one half explanatory and therefore could be used in any case.
3. By giving untrained, inexperienced judges, such as Judge Richard J. Kreul, the discretion to place such severe restrictions on the father/daughter relationship, including, 23 months of no contact whatsoever, that any type of “normal” relationship is impossible to achieve. This has been done over a period of over 8 years.
4. By giving untrained, inexperienced judges, such as Judge Richard J. Kreul, the discretion to rule that the book entitled, Children held hostage, dealing with programmed and brainwashed children, written by SS Clawar, and BV Rivlin for the ABA, Family Law Section is not credible because he does not believe that programming of children exists.
5. By giving untrained, inexperienced judges, such as Judge J. Kreul, the discretion to rule that Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) does not exist despite the fact that this diagnosis has passed the Frye Test for legal admission.
6. By giving untrained, inexperienced judges, such as Judge Richard J. Kreul, the discretion to allow mom to move out of the State of Wisconsin, with the child over dad’s objection, merely because mom wants to move back home and has no friends in Wisconsin.
7. By giving untrained, inexperienced judges, such as Judge Richard Cruel, the discretion to assess $5,123.00 per month in child support paid to a physician mother for one child. Over one half of one million dollars to date assessed and paid in full. An amount that precludes dad from leaving the State to be with his daughter, since there is no mandatory child support relief if dad is forced to take a lower paying job for the sole purpose of voluntarily moving to be with his daughter. Wisconsin allows no input whatsoever from fathers or men for that matter in drafting and reviewing child support standards. Visit http://www.execpc.com/fairsupport/SB151
8. By giving untrained, inexperienced, judges, such as Judge Richard Kreul, a judge who is in way over his head with false allegations of child sex abuse and PAS, to hide behind the statement, “if one is to err, one must err on the side of the safety of the child.” One must not err; one must get it right with well-trained, experienced judges. Not a judge who hides behind a facade of false bravado.
9. By giving untrained, inexperienced, court appointed child attorneys, like Michael R. Phegley the authority to retain an expert like Marc J. Ackerman, PhD, after being discarded by the court, who diagnosed dad with paranoid schizophrenia, recommended psychotropic medication, and claimed that dad was “potentially dangerous and threatening.” In addition, he testified that dad had molested his daughter, without any physical proof or videotape proof. Both Ackerman and Phegley are immune from civil liability and they know it. (Milwaukee County 96-CV-2696 & Racine County 97-CV-0861 & Racine County 01-CV-1071)
10. By giving no legal recourse, no checks and balances, or mechanism of appeal to parents when Family Court officials such as Phegley and FCSW Judy Savage-Berndt clearly show their bias over a 9 year period when they tell my wife, Jeanie Pfeiffer, a former Miss Wisconsin, that she is “crazy to marry me.”
11. By allowing a daughter to be raised in another State, with no male role model whatsoever, by a woman who is incapable of having a normal relationship with a man. As a result of being raised in a father absent environment, research has shown that this daughter will suffer an increased chance of teenage pregnancy, behavioral disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, adult depression, low self-esteem, and problems with adult male relationships among other problems. A strong physical presence of the biologic father in a child’s life helps to protect against these ills. Currently, my daughter is 2 years delayed in skeletal maturation, lies below the 5th percentile in height and weight for her age, and has been hospitalized and diagnosed with Crohn’s disease (inflammatory bowel disease).
12. By treating fathers like cash cows and placing no mandatory priority whatsoever on father involvement in a child’s life. How would you like it if your child was taken from you against your will, allowed to move out of state, and your “parenting time” limited to a handful of supervised hours per month over a period since 1993 with no finding of fact whatsoever, other than the fact that “dad is angry, and therefore, a potential threat to the well being of the child.” (The reason dad is angry is obvious). Meantime, your child suffers as a direct result of immune government agents who act under the guise of the “best interest of the child.”
13. By allowing untrained, inexperienced judges, such as Judge Richard J. Kreul, the discretion to rule that David Corwin, MD, an expert who repackaged Ackerman’s data and diagnosed dad as suffering from transient psychosis is credible. If this diagnosis is correct, there is no way dad could function in society, maintain some minimal contact with his child, and pay his onerous child support in full since 1993 with no treatment.
14. By placing such onerous psychological, emotional, physical, and financial burdens on fathers that they create the “deadbeat dad” that they want to shun and further punish. This type of destructive, Waco, Texas style government intervention has replaced racism as a reason for people’s militia.
15. By the vilification of fathers with ad campaigns that state, ”They’re your children, be their father.” after they successfully remove a child from a father’s life.
16. By allowing mom to spend her child support on attorneys and experts to keep dad away. Her experts are well paid to provide testimony that has no basis in reality whatsoever, with immunity. Valuable college education money is used to harm the child.
17. By setting punitive child support standards for high-income fathers that encourage conflict and divorce and serve to subsidize mom’s standard of living without father involvement.
18. By using supervised visitation and court appointed supervisors like Dawn Dunk for the sole purpose of harassing, nitpicking, and controlling dad’s visitation with his child to such an extent that any kind of “normal” relationship is precluded. This serves to further alienate and victimize dads and their children. I was forced to videotape my visits to counter Ms. Dunk’s incredible testimony that is used to hold me in contempt, terminate visitation, and throw me in jail merely for visiting my child.
19. By giving judges authority to hold dads in contempt and throw dads in jail merely for writing letters such as this. Broad discretion is given to judges to “seal” the court file for decades. This gives dads like me no public recourse without facing a ruling of contempt of court and imprisonment merely for exercising my freedom of speech.
20. By allowing psychologists such as Dr. Mary E. Zosel to treat my child without a clear-cut diagnosis. Dr. Richard Gardner describes this conduct as “incompetent”. Dr. Zosel refused to obey multiple court orders by reporting to the court my child’s progress in “therapy” and played a key role, by her unwillingness to cooperate, despite court orders, in reintroducing dad into her client’s life. Judge Kreul failed to either replace her as my child’s therapist, or hold her in contempt for failing to report to the court.
21. By doing such a fine job of caring about my child that Dr. Richard Gardner has recently personally informed me that he will be including my case in his “disaster” section of his book on parental alienation syndrome and court intervention.
22. By recently awarding Racine County Child Support Division an award for being the second most efficient division in the State. My case catapulted them way above their competition. Racine County needs to victimize more fathers so they can be number one. After all, how can Racine county justify my child support without first removing my child from my life? To date, attorney Susan M. Perry of Hostak, Henzl, & Bichler, Racine, Wisconsin, has logged several hundreds of thousands of dollars of billable hours for her client, a physician mother of one child. Because of Wisconsin laws, attorneys such as Ms. Perry treat children as a financial trophy to be won or lost in custody battles; provide an incentive for divorcing a financially successful parent; increases the conflict in families where the parents do not live together; and make it more difficult for a financially successful parent to maintain a positive relationship with his child. Attorneys such as Susan Perry and ! Wi! sconsin policy use valuable college education money to harm the child. High-income parents who either live or plan on living in Wisconsin should be forewarned.
23. By giving fathers such as myself no legal alternative whatsoever for his daughter to have a healthy relationship with BOTH parents, other than a judicial recall to recall judges like Judge Richard Kreul. “And the multitude arose and led Jesus to the Judge Pilate and began accusing him saying... “This man is a danger to us all; He is an evil doer; He does not honor Caesar; He stirs up strife and trouble; He is a heretic and He must be executed and put to death”. But when Pilate, the Judge, first heard this he said.” I find no fault with this man”.
This is what happens to dads who are guilty of nothing whatsoever. For more information on how to get involved, contact http://www.Wisconsinfathers.org/ or use my link below. I recently educated the people of Salt Lake City, Utah on the realities of fatherhood here in Wisconsin on Bob Madrid’s AM talk radio 1010, this past Tuesday afternoon, January 9. The clear message to all fathers thinking of relocating to Wisconsin: Wisconsin’s punitive policies encourage conflict, punish fathers, harm children, and reward moms with a winner take all policy.
I do solemnly swear that all of the above is true. Malcolm Hatfield, MD
Subscribed and sworn to me.
Update 12/8/02 - Dr. Hatfield gets a letter to the editor published in a local paper.
Update 1/19/03 - Dr. Hatfield gets another letter to the editor published in a local paper.
Update 6/29/03 - Dr. Hatfield gets another letter to the editor published in a local paper.
Name: Kim Hollister. Location:
Children/Birth Date: Xaview Olson, April 10, 2000
Date Separated: October 19,2000
The court wants to put my son up for adoption, stating that his father and myself (we are unmarried) are unfit parents. On September 20,2000 there was a knock at my door. When I there were two police officers there, they said they were there on "a child welfare call", that had been a report that my son had been left unattended for periods of time(left alone in my home with no one there to care for him). I was in the process of moving so my home was not in perfect order. The police report stated that my home appeared to be clean and safe for a baby. It also said that there was adequate food for my child and he appeared to be healthy and there were no signs of abuse or neglect.
That day I was arrested (not for child abuse),and since there was no one to look after my son they had to call CPS to come and take my son. I got him back on September 25,2000, only to have a misinformed social worker come to the place where I was temporialy staying on October 19,2000 and rip my son from my arms once again. She then filed false reports to the courts so that I basically have no chance of getting my back any time soon and possibly losing my only child forever.
First of all when I had my son I had to have an emergency c-section,this was necessary to save my life since I had(the doctors said) about 30-45 minutes before I would have died. So you can see I have always thought of this as a miracle and feel very close to my son. I would never leave him in a situation where he could be harmed. The social worker that has our case does not discuss my case with me. When I try to talk to her (especialy when defending myself) she tells me "I don't want to hear it", or "Tell it to the judge."
This woman claims that she wants to keep my family together. She does not tell me when there is something wrong with my son. If he has to go to the doctor or even when he cut his first tooth or his second. As a parent of this innocent child I want to know about every little thing. I was denied being able to see my son for his first Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. These holidays that I usually spend with family and friends, I spent alone. My son has always had a smile on his face even while sleeping. Now all I see in his eyes is confusion every time I leave him. The court has orderd me to visit twice a week one hour per visit " so that I can bond with my child and he doesn't bond with someone else".
Tell me how two hours a week is going to allow you to bond with your baby? I see my son bonding with his foster mother not me. With all the classes they want me to attend, I can not hold a job so I have no income, yet they want me to have a stable home for my child before I can get him back. I have no family or friends that can help. I feel like I will never have my son back in my home again. When my son was returned to me the first time he had a yeast infection (mind you he had never had a diaper rash or any other type of illness). It took three months to get rid of it, while in foster care, because they would not listen to me when I told how to treat it. The infection was caused from stress, which lowered my sons imunne system, because he had never been with out me for more than a couple of hours. I will never forget the look of total confusion on my sons face when the emergency response social worker handed him to me. When he saw me he got a huge smile and reached up to grab my face. That hurt more than anything. We never had a chance to plea our case in court, and when we go to court the judge does not want to hear anything we have to say. The judge is very unprofessional. He slouches down in his chair with his tie losened at the neck and no robe. If you are having a problem with DCFS, REMEMBER THEY DO NOT GET GOVERNMENT FUNDING UNLESS YOUR CHILD IS IN FOSTER CARE.
Name: Racquel Morris Location:
Silver Spring, MD
Children/Birth Date: Mason Smith 1-12-95
Date Separated: July 14, 1999
My case is one in which I battle my parents for custody of my children. I have so much evidence in this case that my husband (remarried) has created a website with my story, all court documents and evidence that has been submitted in the case. This information can be viewed at http://www.patriotcentral.net/.
I have never been accused of abuse or neglect and social services have never been involved in my case. This is a case where my parents went to the court with an ex parte motion (without a hearing) for custody of my two children, their complaint only contained their allegation and they did not offer the court any proof of these allegations.
The court denied me a hearing while I was represented by council. I decided to fire my attorney and represent myself in this matter since he could not obtain a hearing after 18 months of trying to get one.
I finally got a hearing on January 8th on the ex parte order, the judge knowing all the evidence I had submitted to the court, only scheduled one hour to hear the case. In open court he stated that visitation needed to be establish with my children and myself. Yet when I received the order it states "a reservation in visitation". I am currently in the process of appealing his decision.
My children have suffered extreme psychiatric breakdowns since under the care of my children as noted by their doctors, yet my parents are still trying to convince the judge it is all my fault. Note: the first breakdown occurred 3 months after my last contact with them.
In open court my mother stated under oath that the children (ages 6 and 3) sleep in my parents bed. This will be provided in a transcript and posted on my website as soon as it is received. Also please let me state that my mother was present and gave testimony at my divorce hearing just 10 months prior to her complaint for custody. At this hearing she states under oath that I am a fit and proper parent to have sole custody of my children.
In my hearing on the ex parte order my mother stated that she has been the primary caretaker of my children since they were born. It seems if the was the case she should have mentioned it at the divorce hearing.
There is much more to tell you about the case and the details, please go to my website and veiw all documents (the whole case file is posted).
The only thing I am asking people to do, is write the Judge and let him know how you feel about the handling of this case.
Hon. G. Edward Dwyer
Name: David & Dianne
Children/Birth Date: Jason & Michael, 1992 & 1994
Date Separated: January 1996
Court order for us to return children to Nebraska from North Carolina, Pending Trial for visitation and or custody for father / grandparents. A PLEA FOR HELP---The story you are about to read is true and can be proved to those who wish to help.
Michael is a 7 yr. old boy weighing all of 48lbs and 4 feet tall. He is cute as a button and has such a positive attitude he is an example to follow for all adults. He also has Cystic Fibrosis. He lives in Cary, North Carolina just outside the state capital of Raleigh. He lives with his Mother Diane, Brother 9 yr. old Jason, Sister 20 yr. old Sara and his step Dad of over 2 yrs. David. Currently his health is good and has had NO hospitalizations since moving here from Nebraska in March 2000. He is happy and doing what all young boys are supposed to do, live his life with as little misery as possible, grow and enjoy life.
But all that is about to change--Michael's bio-father is Russell Petersen of Lincoln, Nebraska, is a convicted sexual offender, found guilty in 1997 of SEXUAL EXPLOITATION OF MINORS (RECEIPT OF CHILD PORNOGRAPHY) CASE # 4:97-CR-3013 and diagnosed with Pedophilia in March 1998. Currently he is on parole for three yrs. having been released from prison in Dec 99. The reason he was sent to jail was that his then wife found him involved with child pornography over the internet and divorced him, during the divorce the judge turned over the disk she presented to him to the FBI. They in turn went after him with the help of the now ex wife. His parents, Harley and Beth Petersen of Lincoln, Nebraska, hold their son's ex wife totally responsible for his sickness and being sent to jail.
They have said to others and on record that they believe she is doing the "will of Satan". They have also said that in time Diane would be made to pay and they did not care about the effects on the children as that was in "God's hands". In fact Harley has stated on record that Diane is "overprotective of Michael and needs to just "toughen him up and place his care in the Lord's hands and God's will be done". Since their bided got out in Dec 99 none and I repeat none of them have even attempted to see, visit or even contact the children. There was no and is no visitation schedule in place, we have offered to have supervised visits take place back in NE with them but they have refused them.
Last year Diane's job cut back her hours and money became even more scarce, (Russell took over $20,000 out of their saving account before the divorce and was over 5 months behind in the mortgage payments and was also way behind in other bills the couple owed. Diane was unaware of what Russell was doing as he had total control of all money matters. The home they shared was foreclosed on and she and the kids where forced to move.) For a while she had been thinking about moving to another state where Michael could receive better quality health care, in 99 Michael had his trach tube removed and had some complications. She was not satisfied with the quality of care he received and asked the doctors where the best CF care centers where located, she was told WA and NC. After checking both out North Carolina was decided on as it had much higher quality health care and the climate was much milder which would be of great help to Michael's respiratory system, not to mention that NC offers great opportunities for jobs and education.
Back in Sept 98 God saw fit to have another man enter her life--ME. I'm David and I am a Disabled American Vet, US Army retired with over 20 yrs service. The Lord truly works in strange ways and HE sure does have a sense of humor. I was divorced and as all men do I was looking for Miss Right and I asked the Big Guy to, if He saw fit, to send me a Lady I could settle down with. If she had kids that was ok, as long as we all got along and could eventually learn to Love each other. Well folks be careful of what you ask for--God heard me and granted me all (and much more) that I asked for, a GREAT LADY, wonderful kids and from the first second we met ! ! we knew it was right, everything right?
Now He throws the screwball at me-- I lived in Kentucky at the time and she in Nebraska! Since it was only me in KY I pulled up stakes and headed out west to form the FAMILY. With me on disability Diane is able to make more than I and the cost of child care for Michael is so expensive it was decided that would become a "stay at home dad" and take care of the home front. That way Michael's medical needs could be better served and we could save some money. When we formed our family I knew of the problems she was having with her ex and the grandparents but I did not understand the depths of their hate. When we offered visitations and they refused because we wanted the boys protected from Russell, they said he had NO problems and that since he was now "Reborn" it was impossible for him to be of danger to the kids. According to them all that child pornography he had on disks was sent to him and he downloaded all of it "by accident". I started to see that they were willing to place the kids in danger and not think any thing about it.
By this time it was Feb 2000 and because of the way Russell left her financially, and her continued legal fighting with them, the lawyer's fees, court fees etc, money is almost gone and with Diane's loss of hours so was the house. But as always, a good troop turns a negative into a positive so I said "If we're going to have to relocate then its off to where Michael can get the best possible care and you can find a better career". So we took a quick trip to North Carolina to see if all was true and if it could be made to work out. We found that UNC IS WONDERFUL!!! The doctors, nurses the entire medical staff is top notch. Diane has found a career in Human Resources with good pay and good medical benefits that help cover what mine does not for Michael's care. The weather is so much milder than Nebraska and Michael's system seems to be having a much easier time handling climate changes. He has been so much healthier here. What we found made me rent a Ryder Truck and move the family to NC in March 2000. BUT I SCREWED UP--- I and Diane did NOT know we needed to ask the court's permission to move out of state.
She has custody of the kids and there is, as stated before, NO visitation schedule so why ask?? Doesn't a mother have the right to supply her children with the best possible quality of life including quality health?? Well of course the other side found out we moved, we told them, and they found out that we needed to have permission first so they went and demanded we be ordered to return pending the trial over grandparents visitations and custody of the children. Yes custody-- They claim by us moving out of state we are placing the children in danger because we are not following God's commandment for the children to "honor their father and grandfather" and we are placing Michael in danger for failing to toughen him up, being overprotective (i.e.; not taking him out in sub zero degree weather) and just letting God decide things. Let me state this now! ! --Diane and I are both God fearing folk, we are raising the kids to believe in the goodness of God and to follow His Word BUT and Diane and I believe this whole heartedly --GOD WILL NEVER EVER GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE, BUT, HE NEVER MEANT YOU TO HANDLE IT ALL ALONE.
Read it, believe it, live it, it is how we survive the stress of our situation. Anyway, the judge, District Court Judge Earl Witthoff, Lincoln, NE got angry that we did not ask his permission to move and WITHOUT regard to what would happen to Michael and his health ordered us back to Nebraska pending the trial. He refuses to set a date for the trial so we don't know how long we would have to be there. Judge Witthoff seems not to care about Michael's medical condition with suffering from Cystic Fibrosis and the misery he daily endures. Judge Witthoff seems not to understand that Michael is doing so much better here, eating more, gaining weight, doing well in school, you name it he is doing better in it. How in the name of all that is right can he disregard Michael like that just to a point that he has the power to make us do as he wishes?? How can the so-called loving bio father and his parents want to take this all away from Michael?? How can any straight thinking adult want to punish children and place their LIFE in danger just to satisfy their egos??
Bottom line is that we need help--someone, some organization or something to help us find a way to make the Judge LEAVE MICHAEL IN NORTH CAROLINA where he can keep receiving his quality health care and maintain his quality of life, such as it is. This has been going on for so long and no one seems able to help us help our son Michael. Everyone we have contacted, from the First Lady Of Nebraska, the Children protection organizations, the newspapers, TV radio station all say the same thing, its a civil matter, yes it is an injustice but we can't help, try these people and good luck. Well we are at the end of our rope, the Judge holds all the cards and we know, if his past rulings are any indications, odds are he will demand Michael's return to sub zero weather, ice storms/snow etc. just to prove his point. As an example of the limits to which he will go-- In June of last year he gave yes gave temporary child custody to the Bio-Dad!! A convicted Child Pornographer with Pedophilia on parole! It took several emergency motions, several thousand dollars in lawyer fees but thank God he did reverse himself that time and as of now Diane retains custody.
Please people Please think about this and talk to those you know and have them think. We need help of all types. We are NOT asking for help in the visitation case we are confident that when it occurs and if Judge Witthoff rules against us we will win on appeal. We are only asking that Michael be left alone in North Carolina to maintain his quality medical care and mild climate so as to stress his system as little as possible. Leave his mother in NC to be able to provide for her children as best she can. Please help us find a way to make Judge Earl Witthoff not force us to take our children back to Nebraska where Michael will be in danger of having his life shortened. Michael SHOULD have the right to have the best quality health care his mother (and I) can provide. Thanks for reading and considering.
Any help that you may be able to offer can be sent to: Diane and David Greer 119 Penny Lane Cary, NC 27511 (919) 460-0392 DLG1955@msn.com (having problems with MSN so if it says I don't exist please try again, I assure I am alive) David Greer.
Name: Trisha Towanda Location:
Children/Birth Date: Kelby & Firen, 1987 & 1989
Date Separated: August 1999
There enforcement motions currently before the court. story:: My ex-husband and I were divorced in Colorado in 1993. The presiding judge ordered a custody evaluation and chose the evaluators. It was determined by the psychologists that I was the primary caregiver and more closely bonded to the kids, that "her life revolves around them", and so I should be the primary custodial parent. At the custody hearing, the same judge dismissed the evaluation, barred any testimony regarding the evaluation, and awarded sole custody to their father. He justified this by saying that he thought I had misled the evaluators and was attempting to discredit their dad by entrapping him. (Their father was investigated by social services for abandonment during the evaluation period and I subpoenaed the social worker to testify regarding the incident. This testimony was also refused)
The agony of no longer being with my kids has altered my life forever. I have always wanted to be a mom. I had stayed home with these children for eight years, and as the evaluators determined, my life truly did revolve around them. Losing my kids is and may always be the most significant event of my life. It re-formed my experience of self, and I cannot say it was for the better.
In time, my ex- and I developed a strained but working relationship regarding the kids. In spite of the orders (I was allowed Wed. from 4-8 and and every-other weekend from Sat.8AM to Sun 6PM). I managed to see the kids nearly every day, taking them to sports clubs, acting on the board of directors of the their schools, music lesson, however I could participate, I jumped right in. My oldest daughter, Ashley, at thirteen told her dad that she wasn't willing to live with him anymore. After the initial uproar we agreed that she would live me every-other week. This was in January of 1999. In May, her father came to our house during my week with her, demanded that Ashley go with him and threatened to drag her down the driveway if she refused. ( We live in the country and have a 250 foot gravel driveway!) I intervened at the time and sent her inside. I talked with Duane and said that they could discuss whatever was up that weekend. He removed her from school the next day and refused to allow her out of the house for nearly a week. She was allowed out after their disagreement became violent and the police took Ashley into custody. In spite of horrible bruising on her face and burst capillaries in her eyes, there were no charges filed against her dad and social services declined to follow up. The police told Ashley that "When an adult tells you to do something, you better damn well do it!"
When Ashley was taken from school, I filed for an emergency hearing. This was heard by different judge (thank God) who wanted to interview Ashley. Her face was still covered with bruises which surely added to her credibility! This judge determined that she would now live with me and that he was also "deeply concerned about the other children. It was at this hearing that I discovered that Duane was getting remarried and moving to Washington D.C.
At that point, because Duane had been awarded sole custody in 1993, I had virtually no authority to object. New parenting time orders were put into place and my two younger ones moved to VA.
Because he is out of Colorado it is now very very difficult for the court to enforce the orders. I am entitled to have the kids every Christmas break, every Spring break and for every summer. I also may visit them in VA one weekend per month with thirty days notice. Knowing that I am powerless to enforce these parenting times, Duane simply doesn't send them when ordered and removes them from school when I am supposed to pick them up. Last summer I had to get a detention order from the VA court to get the kids for what remained of the summer. I haven't seen my son since.
In addition, My letters and packages are disposed of before the kids receive them and my phone calls are blocked. I am not allowed any contact with them at all. Recently they bagan sending me letters that says they are angry with me and don't want to see me because I take all their dad's money so now they can't go to Disneyland.
I am currently waiting for a hearing to address this interference with parenting time issue, but without better cooperation between the courts, I may as well kiss them goodbye. It takes so long for the courts to respond that the time I am due is gone before anything can be done. Time with my kids is something that cannot be "made up" or replaced. It's gone.
Orders are meaningless without the ability to enforce them. When Duane took the kids to another state my rights as a parent were over.
Name: Angeliek Coffey Location:
Children/Birth Date: Twin girls: Jamie (12/1/85), Asheley (12/1/85)
Date Separated: July 28, 1988
I am currently taking my ex-husband to court and asking the judge to modify custody and and designate myself as residential parent of both children for the reason that there have been significant changes in circumstances since last custody order, which include my ex-husband "still" seriously interfering with my access to my children and denying my visitation and especially because I have learned that both children have been seriously abused by their father.
I requested an Exparte order a couple of weeks ago, but it was denied and the hearing was reset for June 12, 2000. Prior to that court date my attorney asked me for approval to reset the date to June 30th as my visitation order grants visitation with my children the entire month of July and she felt this would be a better opportunity for the judge to order immediate release of the children to me, and we could then spend time with them prior to starting custody hearings and attempt to ease any anxiety and fears that have about it as their father has shared with them all o of the information that he has received from the courts regarding this matter in attempts to make them angry with me.
story:: Hi, I am a Mother who made a grave mistake by giving custody of my four-year old twin girls, Jamie and Ashley, 10 years ago to my ex husband. I was agreeing to joint custody but on the day of the divorce hearing the Attorney's on both sides told us the Judge would not allow Joint custody in our situation since I had filed for divorce against my ex for extreme cruelty. In a desperate last minute agreement and not knowing what to do or who to believe, I was foolish and gave my ex full custody. I had two other small children from a previous marriage to raise as well. I feared my new ex husband would fail in making child support payments as well as kill both my children and myself if I did not go ahead and agree with giving him custody. I was only 24 years old and had been severely abused by him, resulting in a deep depression during the time of the divorce, not to mention my Father was in the last stages of passing away from cancer at the time and I was caring for him as well...Of course that is the past and I have had to heal myself and become strong for my other children. When I agreed to giving my husband full custody it was on terms that he would not leave the small town that we lived in so that I could see my daughters on a regular basis.
Immediately following the divorce he moved over an hour away from me, of course against court's approval. Not even a year after I divorced my ex he was dating and soon remarried. This woman was 20 years older than he, who was 10 years older than myself, therefore she was approximately 54 years old at the time. She had no children of her own and had always desired children. Therefore, soon after the marriage excuses for not allowing my visitation began. The girls soon began calling me Angeliek, my first name, rather then Mommy. They were calling the new wife Mommy and being instructed by the Father to do so. I took him back to court after a couple of years of this torture he was putting me through and he admitted guilt. He was found guilty and sentenced to 30 days in jail, which was suspended on grounds that this behavior stop and my visitation not be interfered with any longer and that my children would be encouraged to love me. As court ordered I began my visitation again and we were doing great. The girls broke through the barrier of not liking or loving me anymore, which is what they had been taught by their stepmother and Father. Unfortunately, as soon as they began to want to spend even more time with me, my ex moved even farther away, preventing visits during bad winter weather and providing no help to me with transportation for visitation when I had car trouble. Soon again the girls began disliking me and being very cruel to both myself and to their brothers and sisters. They began telling us that they did not want to see us and that they had better things to do. This devastated all of us...Ever since then we have been fighting a battle of preventing them from becoming alienated from us. Unfortunately, we could not prevent it.
Since I was being prevented from visitation and having no relationship with my twins, I decided to accept a job offer out of state in Florida. I went to court and asked the court for visitation in Florida and to modify the visitation to accommodate the distance, since I wasn't getting my visitation as ordered previously. I thought that maybe this way I could get longer visitation during the summer and be able to bond with my children again with a new court order. I did just that and received a new visitation order. At the time my children had been kept from me for well over a year and the judge ordered immediate visitation and continuous for all of the days that my normal visitation was denied. I was so very happy. I was denied any help with transportation costs for the visitations. Unfortunately at the time of the hearing, I could only visit with the girls for one week because I was expected at my new job and the girls were still in school. So, I planned to take all off work during the summer and use up my lost visitation time and scheduled summer visitation time during the coming summer, which was agreed upon by the Judge.
When it came time for the girls to come see me I received a phone call from the stepmother telling me that the girls did not want to come and see me. She continued on to tell me that the girls had never bonded with me as infants because I was a slut and a whore and that I was NOT a mother. She stated that the girls bonded with her and she was the only Mother that they knew, loved, and wanted. She told me the girls would hate me if I made them come. I told her to have them on the plane in which I had purchased tickets in advance or she could visit her husband in jail for contempt of court "AGAIN". Although I was strong and firm with her and did not allow her to know how bad she was hurting me, I was deeply crushed by the things that she had said to me. Not to mention, she was saying these things to me with the girls present by the telephone.
They did put the girls on the plane, but the girls were very angry and mean to us when they got to Florida. I immediately began taking them to therapy when they arrived for their visitation with me in Florida. I had read about Parental Alienation Syndrome and the Therapists confirmed this very quickly. Their suggestion and advice to me was to get these girls in my custody as soon as possible, and that they would be by my side to help me. Unfortunately every Attorney I spoke with regarding custody wanted $5000.00 retainer. I was raising two other small children with no child support, yet I was ordered and paying child support for the twins. I was surviving from paycheck to paycheck. I could not possibly afford attorney fees, costs for court ordered mental evaluations of the girls, and the lengthy court battle which would be a great deal of loss of work. I was not in the financial state to do this, but I desired it so badly. Finally after two weeks of daily therapy we made a breakthrough and were finally having laughs and fun together.
We were creating trust and I felt that our Mother and daughter bond could never be broken no matter how brainwashed a child may be. Not to mention, the Psychiatric group that was giving us therapy felt so badly for us that they were doing it at an extreme discount (almost nothing). I was a new person again, happy and thrilled. I felt like I was finally getting my babies back. Then, the very first day that I had to return to work, when I came home from work the girls were crying and stated that their Mommy (step mother) had called and that their great Grand Mother was in the hospital and she was dying and that they needed to go home immediately. The girls were only 9 years old at the time. I got them relaxed and phoned the hospital the grandmother was in. I knew that they were close and she was elderly and not in good health. She had lost her legs several years before due to diabetes and suffered from emphysema.
The Great Grandmother went into the hospital on a pretty regular basis for treatments and bronchial attacks so I phoned to check on the severity of her status. I was told that she was doing well, not in intensive care, and would be able to speak to the girls in a couple of days. The next day the stepmother phoned the girls again and told them if they did not get home to see their Great Grandmother one more time they would never see her alive again. How CRUEL can you be to little girls? I had to come home from work because the girls were frantic; again I phoned the hospital and was told that the Great Grandmother was improving well. At that time the girls were even given a couple of minutes to speak with their Grand Mother. After that, I phoned my ex and let him know the damage that his wife was doing to these girls and that if she attempted to interfere with my visitation one more time that he would see me back in court. He said that he had no knowledge that she had been phoning or had told the girls that the great grandmother was dying. He also did not believe me when I told him what she had said to me on the phone to detour the visitation to begin with. He insisted that he let the children make up their own minds about what they wanted to do and it was their own decision if they wanted to see me or not and if they wanted to come home early. I was furious. Our visit was now poisoned and the girls reverted back to the way they were when they first came, which was angry and hateful toward us. My heart was broken and I could not take it any longer. I allowed the girls to shorten their visitation and I vowed to work two jobs to earn money to fight my ex in a custody battle as soon as I could.
Soon after the girls went back home we could not contact them on the telephone any longer, the phone was kept unplugged or off the hook. If there was an answer the stepmother would tell me the girls did not want to talk to me and she was not going to make them. My Mother went to Ohio on business and attempted to visit them. My ex and the stepmother told my Mother that the girls had plans that weekend and it would not be possible. My daughter went to Ohio and tried to pick them up to go to our family Christmas party but was told the girls had other plans. This is what we had been told every Christmas of their lives, every birthday, every holiday, and every time of scheduled visitation, "when we could get in touch with them". Several times my Mother had stopped by their house and requested to see the girls. She was told that they were not there, but my Mother had watched them through the door window running to their bedrooms. She was told by the stepmother that she did not know when they would be back. My mother asked if she could wait, and the stepmother told her no, that she would not allow her to do that.
My mother was devastated. My mother had noticed a for sale sign on their house and asked the step mother where they were moving to, and she was told it was none of hers or anyone's business. When my mother told me about this I panicked and went to Ohio myself and asked neighbors if they new where the Crowell's were moving to. NO one was cooperative. NO one knew. I still did not have enough money yet to obtain legal services, so I asked my sister to keep an eye out for a sold sign so that I could try to do something quickly if that should occur. When my sister went to check on the sign and attempt to see her nieces (which she had done over the years and was denied as well) she discovered that the for sale sign was still up but that there was no one living in the house. Needless to say, they were gone, and it took me about four years to find them, which was one year ago. During that four years of hell and not knowing where they were I received therapy to attempt to help understand and relieve my pain. I phoned the school that they previously went to and they would not release any information. I had no money to hire a detective and if I did find them I had no money to fight a custody battle. My therapist advised that for the time being if I did not have the money for legal services that I needed to let them go as if they had passed away and I needed to go through all of the stages of the loss of a loved one. Then, leave it in God's hands and hopefully when the girls got old enough they would begin to d! ! discover for themselves what their parents had done to them and how their life with their real mother had been taken away from them.
When I finally found a phone number for them I was terrified to all in fear of rejection so my mother made the first call. My Mother had found the phone number for my girls by finding the Father of my ex husband's phone number in the new phone book while she was in Ohio a year ago on business. She took a chance and phoned him hoping to get information about the whereabouts of her Grandchildren. Surprisingly he gave her my ex's phone number and stated that he had no idea that we had not been given their new phone number or address, and that he thought that was horrible. He told my mother that he was lead to believe by his son and the stepmother that I had attempted to make no contact with them and that I could care less about my children. My mother obviously explained to him a very different situation and assured him that she would not inform my ex of where or how she obtained his phone number and whereabouts.
My mother made the first call to the girls because I was in fear that they would reject me and want nothing to do with me as before. On the contrary, they were excited to hear from my Mother, their Grandmother and they asked her to have me call them as soon as I could. Of course, I called them from work the very same day. I could not believe it. They wanted to see me, they wanted me. They were having severe family problems and they stated that their Father and stepmother had been having marital problems for years. We began getting to know each other again via telephone. This was being done secretly because they were afraid for their parents to find out that they were talking to their own Mother.
At this time they were 13 getting ready to turn 14. We were talking almost daily before the parents got home from work. It was my dream come true. Just as my therapist said, they would long for their real mother and discover slowly that she could not possibly be the monster the Father and stepmother was making her out to be. My other children began phoning them and we were all so happy. My daughter went to visit them with my sister for the first time in four years at Christmas right after they turned 14. Their Father and stepmother actually allowed them to come visit for one half hour, but would NOT allow them to take them to the family Christmas party. At this time the father and stepmother still did not know that I had been talking to my children on the phone for quite some time. They knew that after my daughter had visited them that I would soon be contacting them as well. One of the twins finally told the parents that I had called after their sister had visited them. They were afraid to tell them we had been talking for quite some time. The stepmother's reaction was "Oh great, here we go again, time to put the house up for sale"!
During my phones calls with the girls I learned that they still had to call me Angeliek because the stepmother could not take them calling ME Mother. I learned through the girls that the stepmother was on nerve pills and anti depressants and that she was diagnosed as paranoid. I learned also that the Father and stepmother had not slept together for years in the same room. I learned that this was a very unhealthy environment. The Father was furious that I was calling my daughters again. The girls continued to act to their parents as though they did not like me so that they would not set them off in anger. They also secretly sent me letters.
Three weeks before school was out this year one of the twins was beaten by my ex and he had left marks on her face, black eye, scratch, bloody and almost broken nose. She stated that the beating was because her father had a hangover and that she dropped something on the kitchen floor. When her father yelled at her about it she muttered something in which he heard and he went off in a rage. When she went to school the next day the school officials noticed the battering and reported to the Sheriff. The school counselor counseled her and the Father was ordered to go to see the Sheriff at his office immediately. The stepmother went instead because she is employed by the juvenile justice system in the same county. Therefore, she intervened in the just punishment he should have received. After speaking with children services I learned that there had been other reports on the family in the past but they would not give me any further information.
I personally spoke with the Sheriff and was told that he had not yet spoken with the Father but was expecting him in. He said that if he cooperated and did not get smart with him that he was not planning to press charges because the main witnesses, the children who are beaten, usually get too scared to testify in court, so they have wasted their time. My daughter who was beaten did not inform me of the beating until a week later. I told her that I would come to get her immediately if she felt as though she was in danger at home. She said her and her Father had not spoken since the beating and that she was scared to death because her father did not yet know that the law was now involved. I told her if anything happened when he found out that she should go to a friend's house and call me immediately. She told me that she wanted me to pick her up as soon as school was out and she had her 8th grade graduation. I told her that of course I would. She told me that it has been awful for years living in that home and she needed me desperately. I told her years ago that no matter what, if her father ever took her away from me, no matter if she hated me then, I would always be there if she ever needed me.
Therefore, upon Jamie's request, on the last day of school I picked her up. It was the happiest day of my life. She was so very beautiful and looked just like me. She was so grown up and I was hugging her so hard and just couldn't let her go. Finally I had to so that she could hurry and get her things and we could get out of there. I phoned her Father at work to inform him that I was taking Jamie with me but he would not accept my phone call. Therefore, we both left her Father letters of where she was going and that if he interfered with our visitation I would see him in court, and that I knew of the incident of his hurting Jamie. While I was in her house helping her get her things I could not believe it. It was a relatively new house, but trashed. It reeked of animal urine and was just a disaster. There were for 4 or 5 dogs, horrid smoke stench from either pipe or cigarettes, about 15 cats, and a bird. It was so unsanitary.
That week was wonderful, we bonded so quickly and had so much to share. Jamie pleaded with me to get an Attorney and get custody of her. She did not want to go back to that stepmother (Brenda) and her Father. I had received two horribly sad letters from her about this before I had picked her up. The day before I picked her up I was very leery and explained to her that if I picked her up she needed to be very serious about what she had wanted because I would have to take off work. I had just recently had surgery, and should not be driving that far of a distance; therefore I could not turn around and take her back home the next week. She said she NEVER wanted to go back there. That she could not take not being allowed to love me and have a relationship with me anymore or her other family and brothers and sisters, and she hated being there where life was horrible. She told me if I didn't pick her up that she was going to take all of her stepmother's pain pills and nerve pills and depressant pills because she could not take the pain any longer. I just died inside; my heart pounded so hard that I thought I was going to die myself. So, of course, I rescued my daughter.
During the week she was with me she did not want to call her Father, but she kept in touch with her twin sister Ashley. Ashley was cruel to her for leaving and told her that her Father was going to charge her with a felony. I kept telling her not to worry because if he attempted anything of the sort I would have an Attorney and we would make sure that she was never hurt by him or alienated from me by her stepmother or Father ever again. She finally was able to sleep and relax and I was in heaven to have my daughter in my arms after four years of misery and crying myself to sleep many many nights.
While Jamie was with me I learned that her sister had been beaten with her bedpost for accidentally kicking a hole in her bedroom wall of their new house. She said it was terrifying because the stepmother could not stop him and she could not stop him. All they could do was go in their rooms and listen and cry. Neither of them called the police, and this was during the summer so school officials were not around to witness the marks and wounds that were left. I was also told by Jamie that she could take being thrown on the floor and against the walls by her Father, but she could not take watching her sister be beaten and she could not stand being hit in the face by her Father ever again. The stepmother did not call police because that would have meant the possible losing of what she considered to be "children". This woman should be as guilty as the Father for this abuse. One week after Jamie was with me I encouraged her to call her Father to let her know she was doing well and that she wanted to be with me for a while.
She did not want to call him, but I insisted. I assured her that if he got nasty or angry with her that she could give me the phone and I would handle it. Well, to my shock, she hung up the phone and told me that she needed to go home and work things out with the father. The Father told her that he was very sorry for what he did and that he bought her the puppy she had been wanting, but that if! ! she did not agree to come home on his terms she could forget the puppy. Then, he would press felony charges on her and myself for taking her for visitation that I was due. I told her she did not have to go and I would get an attorney to handle this matter legally. She insisted she wanted to go home because her dad needed her to baby-sit a nephew coming in from out of state for four weeks and that they needed to work out their family problems before the family came to see them. She said her Father also told her that the sooner she came back home and worked things out that the sooner he would "allow" her to come back and visit me again.
Once again I was devastated and I knew I would not see her again for years. I knew once again, my children were being ripped from my heart and from my life. I cried and cried and cried all night. I did not want Jamie to see me like this, but I could not hold it back. I simply broke down in front of both her and my fiancée'. I could not believe that a five-minute phone call changed everything she had told me she wanted, after she didn't even want to talk to her father in the first place. I asked her to give it another week with me and to go with me to an Attorney and get advice from a therapist. She was too frightened to stay and wanted to go home immediately so he would not be mad at her any more. I did not find out about the puppy that he promised her until she was back home and I called her the next day. I was furious. This is what her Father did whenever the twins would start to love me and want to be with me.
He would buy them pets to care for and love so that they would not want to leave them to come see me. That is why they have accumulated so many animals. I explained to Jamie that I was very hurt and that I was very afraid that her Father would hurt her again as well as her sister. She told me on the phone that I did not need to worry. I asked her to talk to her Father that day and to let me know by the end of the day when she could come back to see me. She promised she would talk to him. I did not hear from her and I could not get in touch with her. Her sister told me she was at a friend's house each day I called. She would not give me the number to the friend's house. Since I did not get an answer on when "both" of my girls could come back for visitation (even though the orders indicate the entire month of July) I hired an Attorney. I have filed contempt against my ex for disobeying court orders, interference with visitation as well as an Exparte emergency order to remove them from their Father's custody due to physical abuse temporarily while court dates are set for a permanent custody evaluation. I finally contacted my daughter, Jamie, and explained to her that since she did not let me know when her father was going to "allow" her to come back and see me, that I had hired an attorney and have my visitation enforced again. She was very angry at me and worried about her parents getting mad and the house being disrupted into a horrible situation again. Jamie begged me not to do this stating that all she had to do was talk to her Father and he would tell her when she could come. I told her that I had already asked her to do that but she was obviously too afraid to do it. Therefore, I am seeking legal measures. She told me that she would be mad at me because her father would blow up and that she finally had a good relationship with him after all of these years. I stated to her,,,,after all these years????,,,,now after he has abused you and you came to see me finally after four years, you are just now having a good relationship with him? This is horrifying to me.
Once again he is manipulating her, knowing that he is facing the Judge again. He has time to brainwash both of them into not wanting to see me again before we go to court. My Attorney said that the Judge would take into account what the girls want as well since they are now 14 years old. I just can't believe it. They have been brainwashed and alienated from me for 10 years. I finally have spent a year trying to reverse it, and now I fear the court will allow it to continue. I tried to get an emergency Exparte order last week, but the Judge would not sign it. Instead, he set a hearing on it for next week, June 19th, although now my Attorney has postponed it until the last week of June due to our witnesses for the abuse of Jamie, (Sheriff, School Therapist, and Children Services case worker), being on vacation. If they take in consideration what the girls want, I will never see them again, because they will be afraid to tell the Judge that they want to see me in fear of their Father rejecting them and being angry at them. They have been a book case of Parental Alienation Syndrome for the last 10 years. This is my chance to get them back in my life, but if the Judge and Attorneys do not understand PAS I will get no where, and be broke and broken hearted "again" getting there. Not to mention, I will again be without my children most likely forever this time.
Do you know anyone or know of any group or organization who can help me and support me during this court battle, or at least give me advise that will work. I am on such a short time frame here and have been studying PAS for years. After this episode with my daughter everything has happened so very fast I do not want to make any mistakes and I have no one familiar with PAS to support me. Please guide me to someone who can help if you are still out there. I got your name from the Internet. Thank you so much for any lead you can provide me.
Name: Ben Burke Location:
Children/Birth Date: Melissa (1982) & Brian (1986)
Date Separated: August 1996
This is the story of a forty-two year old father from Ooltewah, Tennessee. His daughter is now eighteen and his son is fourteen.
My ex-wife divorced me in December 1996. Prior to our divorce we made one visit to a marriage counselor, but because the marriage counselor told my wife the same thing I had been telling her for years, she refused to go back and try to save our marriage. During the divorce I told my lawyer all I wanted was my children, and he told me I would not get my kids and proceeded to explain why. I have attempted to maintain a good relationship with my children since the divorce, but their mother made it extremely difficult. P.A.S. or Parental Alienation Syndrome has turned my children against me. Their aunt is even doing a more thorough job of P.A.S. than my ex-wife did. I have always met and even exceeded my child support obligations. These child support payments are, to this day, still being paid to my ex-sister-in-law. I even purchased a brand new Mitsubishi Eclipse for my daughter's sixteenth birthday back in 1998. I remarried June 1999. One week before my marriage, my ex-wife called, crying and said she still loved me, and wanted to work things out and get back together. I told her I was sorry, but it was too late.
The real horror began June 14, 2000. This is when my ex-wife passed away. Three days before her death she had a 'will'; typed up, witnessed, and signed by an attorney. In this will, she tried to give guardianship of my children to her sister. This is illegal. I immediately hired an attorney who filed a petition for 'habeas corpus' in Georgia, since this was the state my children, ex-wife, and her sister resided. I had signed affidavits from my pastor, my Sunday school teacher, my boss, my stepdaughter and even my wife's ex-husband saying what a good parent I was to his son (my stepson). Judge Jon Bolling Wood of Georgia's Lookout Mountain Judicial Circuit stated, 'I don't need any of these to make my decision'; and denied me custody during the temporary hearing, and six months later permanently denied me custody. This is in violation of Georgia code 19-9-2 as Judge Wood does not understand the 'best interest' statute of the law.
I am a 42-year-old Christian, a faithful member of Harmony Baptist Church, and have been employed by BellSouth Telecommunications for over 24 years. I am, in every sense of the meaning, a fit, honest, hard working parent. My attorney presented him with 6 cases where an appeals court later reversed similar decisions. One case (Wade vs. Wade) specifically stated, "A parent is entitled to the custody of her child in preference to a third party unless it is shown by clear and convincing evidence that the parent is unfit." Judge Wood himself told my attorney at the Lookout Mountain Judicial Circuit's Christmas party, "Larry, I know your client is not unfit, but if he wants his son he will have to pay." I paid over two thousand dollars for the first custody hearing. The appeal to the Georgia Court of Appeals will cost me over four thousand dollars.
Yes, I paid. But why did I have to? What if I was unable to? Is justice afforded only to those who can afford it?