2404 Sourwood Drive

Phoenix, NY 13135

Thanksgiving Day, 1995

Murtari v. Murtari

Index No: 95M705

RJI No: 33-95-3267

The Honorable Charles T. Major

Supreme Court Justice

Onondaga County Courthouse, Room 401

401 Montgomery Street

Syracuse, NY 13202

Dear Judge Major:

I was in your chambers last Tuesday in a conference whose decisions will affect the relationship between our son, Domenic, and I. I am genuinely pleading with you now to stay a decision till further consideration can be given to this matter. Temporary orders affecting money or property can always be “fixed” by trial; but I feel the time I lose watching Domenic grow and being present to him as a loving father cannot be “made-up.” Your honor, I appreciate the patience you have shown with me as a pro se defendant -- and I hope that patience will not run out! While I am not an attorney; I know that you are a Judge, and in the duties of your office you ensure Justice is delivered to the people who come before you. Both as a father and as defendant I ask you to please pause before Domenic’s schedule (see attached) is again disturbed and I become a weekly visitor.

I received the Law Guardian’s report while waiting in the hall -- I just did not have time to assimilate that information along with the three motions which were already to be discussed. I regretted not having a chance to talk to Mr. Lupia about his conclusions. I had hoped to have Mr. Lupia speak to some people/professionals who had first-hand knowledge of Adrianne and I before the divorce litigation started (see attached letter) -- it would be an opportunity for some evidence to be produced in this matter of temporary custody. With regards to Adrianne’s concern about distance and travel; she knew what the visit schedule was when she chose an apartment not in Baldwinsville/Clay, but on the south side of SU. Her complaints about contact with me are untruths. I hope there are other ways to address her concerns besides drastically reducing Domenic’s time with me.

PLEASE Judge Major, you have a mighty pen -- reconsider that portion of the order. I have a solid record of activity in the community. I know this is quite irregular, but all I ask for is a chance.

My phone: 315-695-4422.

Respectfully yours,

CC: Ms. Maureen Walsh, Esq.

CC: Mr. Joseph Lupia, Esq.

John Murtari
Domenic & Daddy’s Present Schedule, Monday - Thursday (approximate times)

8:00 AM - Domenic arrives, daddy greets him with a kiss and brings him into the kitchen. Domenic decides between Cheerios, Granola, Oatmeal or Cream of Wheat. Start heating tea pot, “Daddy, play a little-bit with choo-choo”. We play with wooden train set until tea-kettle whistles and Daddy excuses himself to finish getting things ready -- sometimes Dom comes to watch, sometimes he keeps playing.

8:30 AM - Breakfast ready, Dom brings the spoons to the table (sometimes). We sit down together and eat. Talk about the weather, keep an eye out for clouds, geese, or jet contrails (one of the few toddlers who knows the word “contrail”). We watch the birds at the feeder outside the kitchen window.

“Domenic all done!”, cleans his hand with the wash cloth -- “Daddy now play many, many choo-choo.” Daddy finishes up and we just play for about 20 minutes. Domenic usually has the fast train and daddy the slow train, “gotta go slow around the sharp turn.” Daddy the excuses himself to wash dishes, usually Domenic helps rinse. Brings his stool and stands next to Daddy at sink.

9:30 AM - Brush our teeth. Use Daddy’s bathroom with the double bowl sink. Dom stands on top of laundry basket to reach the faucet. “Domenic has to spit it out”, not swallow the toothpaste.

9:45 AM - Catch the remainder of Sesame Street, until 10. Daddy sits in the chair and Domenic climbs into his lap. Learn what “Today’s Letter” is. We try to see and write “Today’s letter” later in the day.

10:00 AM - The Days activity: doing the laundry (Dom helps throw the clothes in the basket, and then into the washer. Pours in the detergent and puts fabric softener “in the hole”. Vacuuming, daddy uses the vacuum and Dom an attachment. Then go outside and play: walk around block, shovel the snow, make a snow man, make a snow house.

Tuesdays - Go visit Cousin Cheryl in B-Ville, see Billie (4) and Christina (2.5) -- play with their toys!

Thursdays - Go to the “Discovery Zone”, Daddy has a year “pass”.

11:15 AM - Back in the house. Do a little drawing (getting a little tired now). Take daddy for “horsey ride” and lie down with horsey.

11:45 AM - Start cooking, Dom can watch “the animals” on TV (chan 24). Help daddy wash vegetables, get to eat a piece of fresh beans, broccoli, or zuccini while waiting for lunch (everything tastes good when you’re hungry). Help Daddy put the salt in the pot.

12:00 PM - Lunch, sometimes joined by Vince (office employee who has 4 year old daughter, Vickie). Get to try some of what Vince is having -- usually looks more interesting than Daddy’s.

“All Done”, Go upstairs for a diaper change, after, Daddy jumps on the bed to make “Domenic’s house” -- get ready to “Go see mommy!”

2:30 PM - Get in the car. Domenic gets a piece of sugarless gum out of the pack and carefully opens it and splits in half, “This one for you, daddy.” Sometimes we bring apple or pear in car also and we split that, Dom has a bite and daddy has a bite, “daddy has big bites, when me get bigger, me have big bites.” Usually naps on way, “Daddy make it soft”; I put my arm out near his seat so he can rest his head, cuddle with puffy, and fall asleep. Usually stays asleep the whole way and even when I pick him up (a sound sleeper).

EFFECT OF CHANGE IN SCHEDULE

I have worked hard to shift my schedule so that I can be present as a father to Domenic. I could soon find myself being at home, having the time, temperament, and the desire! . . . but NO Domenic. Right now I feel like a day-care provider, but at least I have a steady presence with him and can share with him my love of the outdoors, gardening, and working around the house and on the cars. I can share with him the unique pace and nature of Daddy’s life, which is just as important and valuable as Mommy’s.

· Present Schedule: 20 hours of waking activity, 4 breakfasts, 4 lunch, 4 playperiods -- very rhythmic schedule -- miss doing wakeup/bedtime/dinner.
Longest period not to see Daddy: 3 days, Normal time between parenting days, less than a day.

· New Schedule (Wed at 3pm - Thur 5pm): 10 hours of waking activity, 1 breakfast, 1 lunch, 1 dinner -- no rythm between days. Get to do bedtime and wakeup.
Longest period not to see Daddy: 5 days! Normal times between parenting days, 3-5 days.