2404 Sourwood Drive
Phoenix, NY 13135
August 17, 1996
Murtari
v. Murtari Index
No: 95M705 RJI
No: 33-95-3267
The Honorable Charles T. Major
Supreme Court Justice
Onondaga County Courthouse, Room 401
401 Montgomery Street
Syracuse, NY 13202
|
CC: Ms. Maureen Walsh |
Dear Judge Major:
Attached you will find an “Order to Show Cause” for your review and action, if the court approves, I will send a copy of this material to the other parties involved. I would like to inform the court I do have vacation time with Domenic August 14th - 29th, and respectfully ask that no appearance be scheduled in that time frame.
Your honor, I am deeply disturbed and troubled, by the fashion in which this matter is unfolding. Please excuse me if this sounds “corny”, but I am a graduate of the Air Force Academy (where I learned to live by an honor code) -- one that I have continued to apply throughout my life. NO MATTER how justifiable the final goal is, I will not “lie or mislead” to attain it. This may seem strange, but I find myself “handicapped” in a proceeding which promotes wild accusation and exaggeration!
With the receipt of the actual “Gift Letter” you now have
two instances of what I feel is clear and substantial perjury by the Plaintiff:
· During my examination of the Plaintiff she stated that some “mystery” checks written from her account to a Mr. Taskal (totally over $20,000), were a business loan -- but not from her, from her parents to Mr. Taskal. This was in controversy to clear testimony Ms. Walsh so pain stakingly went through documenting that ALL the money transferred into Adrianne’s accounts from her parents, was JUST for her.
· The Gift Letter -- I believe in the “benefit of the doubt”, but that both my wife AND her parents would forget signing a letter gifting $99,000 just a few years ago is hard to believe.
What concerns me is not the money, or my wife’s infidelity in marriage -- it is our son, Domenic! Your honor, you had a chance to see him on tape, and you remarked, “what a wonderful boy” he is. You saw Domenic and I together, you heard testimony from OVER 12 witnesses to my church and charitable involvement, my activity in the community, a loving extended family -- and still somehow I am labeled as “some type of menace” to my own son! His right to a healthy childhood is being trampled by a system which promotes an “in your face” divorce instead of counseling, and some professionals who seem more concerned about their own reputations/careers than Domenic’s future.
Your honor, my wife’s conduct has given me a clear picture of what awaits for both me and our son if I am a “noncustodial parent”:
· I used to go to almost all of Domenic’s doctor visits. Since the separation I haven’t been informed or given the opportunity to attend. I asked Adrianne about it once and was told that notifying me “wasn’t necessary.”
· I wasn’t consulted when Domenic was placed in day care. Adrianne would not accompany me to a visit of the facility -- she wouldn’t even give me the phone number. She gave me the name and said, “look it up in the phonebook.”
· She blocked me from even seeing him at daycare. Your honor, can you imagine me, as a father, and acting in the roll of custodial parent -- refusing to let Domenic’s mother care for him while I was at work, or stopping her from visiting him in day care? How I was I suppose to know that Dr. Hoenig (who can condemn me as a parent, without ever meeting me!), was director of that center -- I didn’t know I was walking into a mine field.
· I always attempt to address Adrianne in an “upbeat” manner about Domenic’s activities when he changes parents. I just about always get flat replies, and simple, “yes”, “no”, or “nothing new” answers. Your honor I’m not trying to make a “fantasy” relationship between mom and dad for Domenic -- but I do want to show him two parents, who even though they have their differences, can still treat each other with courtesy and respect, and be excited about his growth and achievements.
Judge Major, I care about my son and I want to be their for him as a
father and I want the best for him! I
write all this to you in frustration and pain, and I hope you will understand.
Domenic returned from Japan on the 9th -- Adrianne brought him to our home on the 11th for a visit with daddy. I didn’t know what to expect after a 4 week absence, but I was so happy to see Domenic eager and smiling at me as the car pulled up. I opened the door and the first thing he showed me was his new Band-Aid on one of his fingers (loves those Band-Aids!). He was very animated and we walked around the garage for a few minutes (he was holding onto mommy’s hand), and then she left and we said good-bye and he started exploring his home again. I had told Adrianne on the phone earlier that maybe we should just stay together for a while, but was told it “wasn’t a good idea.”
Just one problem, Domenic couldn’t talk to me in English. We spent 4 hours together that day and even though we did all the usual things -- I couldn’t help but feel we were starting at square one with language. I got to see Domenic again on the 13th after pleading with Adrianne to let me bring him to a family event surrounding my Uncle’s 100th Birthday Party -- again, although we laughed and played together, not a lot of English. Just like a trip Adrianne had taken to Japan in 1994, I realized that she had used no English with Domenic. I told her I was concerned and she told me, “it will come back.” Although I did not say anything in response, my feeling is “it should have never left.”
All this didn’t need to happen, if Adrianne could have just used an hour a day with him in English he would have kept his fluency. I am bilingual, but my father always made an effort to use English in the home when I was small. It seems that Adrianne’s overwhelming concern is that he learn Japanese, and the English he will get elsewhere (this was one behavior which forced me to petition Family Court last year).
I am concerned that Dom doesn’t know how to peddle a bicycle yet -- we spend a lot of time doing things outside (but one day a week, and every other weekend isn’t a lot of time). I am concerned that Dom isn’t getting a chance to start stable relationships with kid’s his age in the neighborhood and his own relatives that live close by.
Money
I wrote this all down because I don’t know where to turn. Unfortunately, I don’t have the money to have my own expert on-call. I am beginning to realize that without money, there is a small chance of Justice being done. Your honor, I need money in order to put an expert on the stand to counter the “blind” testimony of Dr. Hoenig. Your honor, I need money to call the witnesses necessary to document the Plaintiff’s misleading psychological testimony and background. I am the defendant here and I am being outspent by my wife -- what happened to a “level playing field?”
It is also not lost on me that I am a “deadbeat” dad, I have an order for support which I am not paying -- nevermind that I don’t have the money. But here I am, a loving father, active within his Church, helping a homeless shelter, active in the community, and working hard to make a business work -- but still a “deadbeat” -- what an interesting story that would make on how our system “works.”
Please your honor, I need some of that “loan” money my wife
gave to her friend. I think in the long
run -- it will save everyone involved a lot of money in unnecessary appeals -- and most importantly save Domenic a lot of
pain!
Motive
Your honor I didn’t get to make a closing statement yet on the evidence I presented -- I am not a lawyer or investigator -- but there is certainly a strong precedence for the fact peoples actions are according to their underlying motivation. I have also heard of the “missing witness” charge -- that the law allows an unfavorable inference to be made if a party fails to call witnesses that would be expected to corroborate their testimony. Your honor, the failure of the plaintiff to call a SINGLE eye witness speaks volumes!
This is NOT about a husband,
who is “cruel and inhuman” to his wife throughout a marriage, finally ending in
her filing for a divorce. This is NOT about a couple who communicate so poorly
they have complete different perspectives of the same situation. This IS about
a wife who gets involved with someone else and
decides she wants a divorce (a very human failing) -- and when her
husband refuses, escalates provocative conduct by treating her husband in a
“cruel and inhuman” manner.
Yes, my wife is under
psychological stress -- the stress induced by infidelity. She knows what she
did with Taskal, and she knows how she lied to me about that conduct. I am not a psychologist, but any person can
understand the “guilt” she is operating under -- and her convenient desire to
make another person responsible for her life’s failings. Using the strongest
evidence, the admissions (in italics)
made by both sides in this matter -- I would like to paint a clear picture for
you. The motivation for each party:
· Mrs. Murtari -- a desire to end the marriage at whatever cost so that she could be free to pursue another relationship.
· Mr. Murtari -- a desire to preserve the marriage and resolve differences for the sake of their young son.
1. Mrs. Murtari did not want to have a child, or even adopt a child. Her husband explained his feelings that children were important to him and she went along -- although at that time she may have wanted more to just maintain the marriage.
2. Domenic was born in February, 1993. Her parents come from Japan and a warm family celebration of his birth occurs. In the summer of 1993 Mrs. Murtari tells her husband she wants to bring Domenic to Japan for a few weeks -- her husband is concerned because of his young age and the distance involved. They agree to compromise and delay the trip until the next summer, when Dom will be over a year old, and they can travel together.
3. At sometime during this period she wishes to reestablish her career, her mixed feelings about being a mother resurface. She wishes to establish herself as a professional. In the summer/fall of 1993 she explores franchising a ‘Gymboree Play Center’ (similar to Discovery Zone). The couple visits a center in Rochester, Mrs. Murtari gets a franchise agreement and also pays a professional business consultant for advice. Her husband helps her explore the arrangement, but is reluctant due to the large start-up cost (over $50,000), and her lack of any business experience.
4. She is frustrated with her husband for not supporting her ambition. During this same time she continues visits with Mr. Taskal, a friend of hers and shop owner. She finds a “sympathetic ear” for her frustrations at not being able to start a business. Mr. Taskal offers her the opportunity to become a “partner” in his business. He needs money for expansion -- their relationship becomes one of both business and pleasure, he understands her feelings! She arranges gifts/loans for him in the fall of 1993 of over $20,000 -- her husband is not aware of this.
5. She feels uncomfortable about the duplicity of her conduct. In the fall/winter of 1993 she first approaches her husband about divorce/separation. Her husband is committed to the marriage and trying to make it work, especially now for their young son Domenic. He is not aware of the depth of her relationship with Mr. Taskal. He tells her that he cannot agree to a divorce, but is willing to go to counseling again -- she does not want to go.
6. In the spring of 1994 she participates in her husband’s campaign for Congress. She has mixed feelings and is torn between her marriage and her desire for a “new life”. She finally tells him she will be filing for a divorce and he withdraws. She gets some legal advice during this period, but is told she does not have “grounds” for a forced divorce. She has been going to private counseling with a Ms. Hirano and agrees to some joint sessions with her husband. Her husband is willing to go, but is concerned when the focus of the session seems to just be divorce. She refuses to continue the sessions.
7. In 1994 she begins to spend more and more time with Mr. Taskal. She is not concerned that her husband will become aware of this -- maybe this will give her a divorce. She is gone on repeated occasions, missing dinner with the family, and staying with Mr. Taskal until 2:30 in the morning -- arriving home very late! Her husband has lost his full time job and now becomes an equal care giver with their son Domenic.
8. Mrs. Murtari guilt at her own activity and infidelity now become redirected as anger toward her husband. It is his fault that her life is a mess, he forced her into having a child, he is keeping her from a professional career. A different circle of friends, and of course Mr. Taskal, reinforce this attitude. “Your husband is a Neanderthal . . . you don’t have to live with him . . . why is he doing this to you.” Advice from counsel and friends is “make life hell for him, and he’ll come around.” She sees herself as the real victim.
9. She stops making mortgage payments on the home. She stops cooking dinner for the family so that her husband now prepares the evening meal. She tells her husband she wants to use “her” car, the one he has been driving and taking care of. He makes all the house payments from his resources. He starts cooking almost all the family meals, but he tells her she has a perfectly good vehicle and he is not going to change the oil on a car she is using to see her lover. He asks her not to use “his” vehicle, she uses it for her late night visits -- he gets into the habit of disconnecting the battery when he parks the car in the garage.
10. Her husband is concerned with this turn of events and again asks her about counseling, again she refuses to go. He asks her to go to their pediatrician to discuss care concerns with Domenic, she refuses.
11. By the winter/spring of 1995 she is using more and more Japanese with Domenic in the home. Her husband finds himself excluded from conversation. He gets some legal advice and wants to pursue a limited action in Family Court. He is willing to live with her affair, but is concerned about the language barrier and her taking Domenic for extended visits out of the country. He files a petition for relief in Family Court. He dismisses his attorney when she agrees to an alternating weekend relationship with Domenic, even though the couple is still living in the same home -- overriding his direct wishes and instructions.
12. Mrs. Murtari, in her divorce complaint makes charges her husband “pushed her” and describes it as a one time and memorable event -- however, she fails to even mention in affidavits submitted as part of the Family Court proceeding. The “rules of evidence” allow an unfavorable inference to be drawn when people fail to complain about a wrong that was done to them. The reason, it just didn’t happen that way.
13. Her husband invites his wife to visit when he takes Domenic to visit his mother -- she refuses. During his “court appointed” vacation time in 1994, he again invites her to come and visit Domenic -- she refuses.
14. In this time period she finds more aggressive counsel. Her husband is trying to start a business and cannot afford legal counsel. She is advised to stop talking to her husband, to stop any activities of a normal family -- a breakdown in communication will just about guarantee her sole custody of Domenic in New York. She goes to see a psychologist and presents a terribly distorted view of her husband as a father.
15. Her husband is trying to maintain a family environment for their son. On two occasion he invites some of the couples friends over for dinner (they have children that are Domenic’s age). She excuses herself and is not present in the home.
Summary
Your honor, I wish to be frank in my concerns that my rights to a fair trial in this matter have been jeopardized. I am not a lawyer, but I feel my rights to a “jury of my peers” and the “due process of law” have been sacrificed, as well as “equal protection”. I am beginning to reach the conclusion my treatment in this action has nothing to do with the evidence, but only that I am a man -- and I find that very disturbing. That all a man has to be accused of is some type of “ominous” behavior and he is stripped of his family and dignity (not even allowed to visit his child at daycare!).
When this action began I could not afford an attorney -- I read the law books and drew confidence in the controlled process and rules of evidence, the concept of a level playing field. I don’t know why things haven’t happened that way? Does it make any sense that my “rights” (and my son’s rights) are better protected if I had stolen a car.
Before our first appearance in this action I was trying to learn what to expect and I went to “motion call” in Supreme Court. I sat and listened as both the attorneys (I remember Senator DeFrancisco represented the defendant) and Judge thoughtfully considered both the evidence and law over discovery regarding a vending machine contract!. If some “coke machines” are worth such a deliberative process -- how about families, especially when their are children involved.
Your honor, I’m not a saint, but in no uncertain terms I am not guilty of being a “cruel and inhuman” person -- and I most certainly do feel I am one of the best parents a child could ask for. My wife wants a divorce -- I can agree to a negotiated separation followed by divorce, but I will not sacrifice my relationship with my son (nor would I expect my wife to). It is true that joint legal custody will not work (my wife has gone out of her way to manufacture lack of communication). I end up talking to her attorney about the smallest change in schedule. It is clear I must pursue legal custody to insure Domenic does get to have a full relationship with both mommy and daddy.
I respectfully ask your consideration of the items in the attached order and look forward to your direction on how/when to proceed.
My phone: 695-4422.
Respectfully yours,
John Murtari