2404 Sourwood Dr.
Phoenix, NY 13135
3 December 1997
Mr. Joseph A. Lupia, Jr., Esq.
Empire Building, Suite 600
472 South Salina Street
Syracuse, NY 13202
Dear Mr. Lupia:
I really hadn’t planned on attempting to get you to “intervene” in this again. But again, something has happened that I find quite disturbing and I hope you will look into it. Domenic was with me for an extended period over Thanksgiving (Adrianne had to go out of town on business). He was with me from the 20th - 27th , and I was to return him to Adrianne’s place at 7pm Thanksgiving night. We had a nice vacation, it snowed, and he loved it. When we went back Thursday night it never occurred to me that Adrianne would not be there to pick him up on a holiday(see the attached material regarding conflicts with her work schedule).
When we pulled into the Lot, I didn’t see her car in the parking Lot and I figured Wakako, the usual sitter must be there. I told Dom about it to prepare him and he really started crying. After he quieted down a little bit I brought him in, and when Wakako opened the door he again burst into sobs and wrapped himself around my neck. It was a horrible experience for everyone – especially when Wakako told us Adrianne would be back in about an hour!
I wish Joe, that you or Maureen could explain to me why this has to happen. I figure the least Adrianne could have done is call earlier to let me know (or even maybe just say, “keep him for another hour till I get back”). I don’t understand what is going through Adrianne’s mind, but I am very disturbed by the fact Dom appears to a secondary item in whatever that mental agenda is.
Joe, I don’t want this to turn into a contest of wills between me, you, and Maureen. Where the original goals are lost and it just becomes about “winning.” I have reviewed my thoughts, and sorry I don’t have any ground to give on the issue of Domenic (I can not in good faith settle for anything less than a full and equal relationship with Domenic, that is why I am quite ready to go to Jail for a long time – see attached). We can negotiate over money and property.
In all my life I have never met any “bad” people. I assume you and Maureen are fully aware of what is going on, but for other reasons justify your behavior (same as me). I just want to make sure that neither of you hides behind the ever popular, “it’s just my job,” or, “its just the system,” or, “it’s your problem.” While I haven’t met any “bad” people, I have also seen real suffering introduced by people who thought they were doing the right thing. That little boy is going through needless suffering and pain, a great part of which could be avoided by more mature conduct by “adults”. You are both professionals. You have it within your power to take action – I hope you will do so.
Occasionally I try to reach out to Adrianne to see if we can
open some communications – I get nothing. A mature person needs to talk to her.
What is the point of all this struggling
over Domenic? John has agreed to a divorce (your original goal). You may have
had some kind of problems with him, but basically your husband is a good man
who really loves Domenic, and Domenic obviously loves being with him. Let go of
the past, so that you are free to have a positive future. You are both good people and all this
wrangling should stop.
PLEASE lookout for Domenic’s best interest – at least make this insanity end of dropping a crying child off with strangers and not family. I am also getting tired to talking to an answering machine every day when I call to talk to Domenic. If you want to talk, I’d be happy to speak with you in person.
Sincerely yours,
John Murtari
CC: Maureen Walsh
Attch:
a. Letter to Maureen
b. Excerpts from Motion
c.
Letter
to Judge Lawton
3 September 1997
Ms. Maureen Walsh, Esq.
Suite
602
472
South Salina Street
Syracuse,
NY 13202-2480
Dear
Judge Major, Adrianne, Ms. Walsh and Mr. Lupia:
My vacation time with Dom came to an end yesterday
with some experiences that it would not be fair to Domenic to let pass without
comment.
Adrianne, you called yesterday to say you wouldn’t be
at the apartment, and to tell Dom “Wakako” would be there and you would be home
after class. I let him know all that,
and although I remembered her, he didn’t seem to. You didn’t call during the rest of vacation, was there a
reason? Later that same day I find out
from a neighbor that Dom will be going to a different preschool, don’t I have
the courtesy to know or participate?
Don’t you think Dom would feel better, enjoy it more, if both Mom and
Dad could share his experiences there?
When I dropped Dom off with Wakako, he was very
hesitant, even though I tried to make some small talk for a while (Wakako told
me she had not seen Dom since before the summer). The little guy started crying his head off and holding on to me,
even when we tried all walking down to the front door so Daddy could say
goodbye. The image that stuck with me when I left was little Dom crying, tears
streaming down his face. Did all that
need to happen? You and Maureen
have harped about “transition time” for Domenic when it served to interfere
with my time with him – what about this?
Is there some reason you could not just have told me, “John, I’m going
to be at work a little late, drop Dom off an hour later.” Would it have been so bad to have Dom spend
an extra hour with me to avoid that “mess”.
Maureen, I got your letter that my new schedule with
Domenic will be from 7PM Thursday until 9PM Monday. This will be at night, in bad weather, and around bed time. I am free at any earlier time during the day
to make the changes – I hope we can find a better time. I would like to be free to help with some
Church CCD classes on Monday nights at 6:30 PM. Is there any way we can change things to make this 5PM Thu - 5PM
Mon (or there abouts) and take that other two hours and add it to Sunday
time. Regarding Sunday, can we please
make that 4 hours – there are also services here at 5:30 PM on Saturday – we
can be flexible about the day/time as long as there is some advanced notice.
Please let me know.
Judge Major, Mr. Lupia, this is being sent to you
just so you are aware of what is continuing to happen. Maybe someone can see justification for this
type of conduct, it goes on all the time, but I hope I never do.
Sincerely
yours,
John
Murtari
EXCERPTS
FROM A MOTION TO JUDGE MAJOR, MADE OCT 1st.
1.
That
the present order be modified to specify that transfer of Domenic between
parents should occur no later than 7 PM, and that he should be dropped off to
family members.
2.
That
the present order be modified to specify that if a Sunday Church visit is
missed, the time will be added to the next Sunday Church visit.
CHANGE IN DOMENIC’S SCHEDULE
I.
I
just completed another weekend with Domenic. I brought him back at 9PM, he was
sleepy, and again when he saw the sitter he burst into tears and sobs. Judge, I owe it to Domenic to make another
plea to you to do something about the Schedule – why does this have to happen?
It is not the sitter’s fault, you just have a tired little boy who has anxiety
about a change occurring. I know there would be no problem with me picking up
Domenic from a sitter; but this night-time drop off (and I can’t imagine what
it is going to be like in the dead of winter), is simple insane.
II.
Your
honor, I have to ask for some relief here. Right now you are in the best
position to make a timely ruling and decision.
The Plaintiff unilaterally changed the time you had ORDERED from 5 pm
Thursday to 7 pm Monday, to the new schedule of 7pm Thursday to 9 pm Monday.
III.
Domenic
also lost another Sunday church visit with me on the prior weekend. It is beginning to look like the slightest
pretext is reason enough to cancel our Sunday time together. You had ORDERED two hours on every Sunday.
IV.
It
must be clear that Plaintiff’s demonstrated behavior is to minimize Domenic’s
contact with me, to the exclusion of all else. I ask the Court “reign in” the
Plaintiff, and let them know they will be held accountable for these actions.
2404 Sourwood Drive
Phoenix, NY 13135
September 19, 1997
The Honorable John F. Lawton
Justice, Appellate Division
Onondaga County Courthouse
401 Montgomery Street
Syracuse, NY 13202
Dear Judge Lawton:
The attached package is an order to protect me from being evicted from my home while my appeal is in progress. As I have reviewed Appellate procedures I have sometimes found actions taken by the Courts “in the interest of Justice.” I am not sure if that applies to what has happened here, but I hope the Court will take some type of action.
Please understand I bear no ill or disrespect toward either Judge Major or the Justices of the Appellate Division in this decision. This may be just “the way it is”, as I have been told by so many friends and lawyers. I do not fault you for the fair execution of your duties – I also ask that I not be “hammered” by the Court as I fulfill my duty to my country, my self, and most off all, my son.
If the Court, in execution of its duty, finds the Order in compliance with legal precedence, the CPLR, the laws and Constitution of the State of New York, and the laws and Constitution of the United States – then I am also called by “duty” to peacefully resist the order and go to jail.
For if “the way it is” means a parent can be sued by their spouse, denied fair counsel, denied a jury of their peers, denied a fair trial, and then be stripped of their relationship with their children, along with their home (all while an appeal is pending) – then I do not understand our system of family justice and perhaps I belong in jail.
This is not a decision I take lightly, and the impact will be devastating to me financially and personally. Most of all it will interfere with my relationship with Domenic (guess he won’t be coming to jail to see daddy). It is my warmest hope this entire matter will end with Domenic having a full relationship with BOTH parents, and that he will also be able to enjoy the neighborhood friends and school where our present home is located.
My phone: 695-4422.
Respectfully yours,
John Murtari