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Mother's Day 2003 / Don't want to see my parent / Your FEEDBACK

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From: Webmaster (webmaster@AKidsRight.org)
Date: Thu Apr 17 2003 - 11:12:23 EDT


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Good People & People of Faith:

This message contains info on:
1. Our answers to tough questions - yours?
2. Visiting Washington for Mother's day - interested?
3. Message from the UK - not too different than here.
4. Your FEEDBACK - talking to Senator Clinton, the MDM & Sacrifice


1. Our answers to tough questions - yours?
-----------------------------------------
We got a couple of message from kids who don't want to see their
"other" parent.  Tough questions and our thanks to Kevin Purdy, our
contact person, for his answer at the bottom.  We welcome your
thoughts, especially when teenage children say, "I no longer want to
see mom/dad .. I don't even love them.  Why do I have to go?  Where
are MY rights?"

> My name is Erica i am 12 years old i live with my mom for 12 years
> now for the longest time i wasn't really close with my dad i feel
> like i want to live with my dad now and feel it will be a better
> place because where i live now i am very depressed and lonely but
> when i go by my dads house every other weekend i feel very loved and
> happy where i am at my dads house they give me lots of comfort and
> support.My dad is going to court a week from Tuesday he is going to
> ask the court if i can move in with him.Do you think the court will
> let me move in with my dad if im not there to tell them face do face
> "i want to live with my dad" ? (but always remember i am only twelve
> years old )

OR 

> Hello, I am 13 years old and my parents are divorced and so we have
> to go through safe-exchange to see our father. I also have two
> younger sisters and neither of which want to go I don't either. What
> can I do to get out of the visitations?

It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought, and it sounds
like you are a very intelligent young lady.  At AKids-Right.org, we
believe that the best parent for a child to live with is both
parents. 

We believe that every child has the right to both parents, even if
those parents are divorced. Moms and Dads are both very important in
the lives of young people and they both have important contributions
to provide their children.  

Although I don't know your particular situation, I bet both of your
parents love you very much. It sounds like they both want to be a part
of your life. You deserve both of them and both of them deserve you.

Kevin@AKidsRight.org


2. Visiting Washington for Mother's day - interested?
----------------------------------------------------
Last year we made an effort to visit Members of Congress in Washington
as part of Mother's day.  A few of us drove as long as 8 hours to get
there, spend the night, visit legislators the next day, and then drive
back late at night.  Some of what happened is at our legislative
action page, http://www.AKidsRight.Org/legislative.htm

We had about 8 people sign up, but only two actually made it the day
of the event.  It was a bit disappointing, but an educational
experience for those involved.  This day of "lobbying" is open to both
moms and dads, for more information or to sign up see:
http://www.akidsright.org/mom2003


3. Message from the UK - not too different than here.
---------------------------------------------------- Kenneth Lane
<ken@contactmatters.co.uk> http://www.contactmatters.co.uk/

> I'm based in Wales, UK and I read your emails with both admiration and 
> frustration.
 
> In separating families, there is so much pain out there that some
> people feel that they are unable to shoulder any more. But why? When
> I lost all contact with my kids after two years of litigation,
> everyone around me - including my father and my lawyer - were saying
> "Give up. There's nothing more that can be done. See the kids when
> they're 18" etc, etc... But this just served to drive me on.

Yes, it is funny how sometimes people closest to you just don't get it
and appreciate how important being a parent is.

> Against all professional advice, I took the matter back to Court
> myself whilst challenging the systemic failings of the system. The
> latter resulted in my being threatened with criminal proceedings by
> the County Solicitor if I kept exposing the Courts documented
> deficiencies. Yet such deficiencies are now described by leading
> christian family groups as having resulted in institutionalized
> child abuse on a massive scale.
 
> Gathering the strength through faith to take on the Govt bodies
> responsible, despite the threats against me - has led to the
> systemic failings of our secret family courts, and their supporting
> agencies, being routinely rehearsed in the public domain. As a
> result of such, the winds of change are blowing.

Yes, the "authorities" have so much power and there is no real review.

> But try and get others in the same predicament just to write to
> their political representative? It's like banging your head on a
> brick wall! The only way forward is with those dedicated few (and
> they are few) who care enough to sacrifice all for their children's
> rights. Many forget that childhood comes but once in a
> lifetime. That's important. We owe it to them as parents to make
> sacrifices to protect that time.

It is hard to get people motivated and I guess primarily because they
think doing anything is hopeless.  But I think with time as we find
the right words to describe the great violation of their rights that
has occurred more people will get involved.  Certainly, after almost a
hundred years it happened here when segregations was finally
challenged.
        
> On the home front, did I make a difference for my children? Yes. I
> now know that my efforts whilst we were apart for many months gave
> them hope, strength and encouragement. Moreover, seven years on they
> are teenagers, and they now live with me.

WELL, that is VERY happy news!  I'm still dreaming of the chance to be
regular parent for Dom.

> Thus, the message to so-called 'resident' parents who attempt to get
> back at their ex through the kids is simple. Glance downward and
> look into the eyes of the child with whom you are eroding your
> relationship. Because that's what will happen later in
> life. Conversely, if you are able to find the strength to separate
> your feelings about your 'ghastly ex' from the practicalities of
> his/her child contact... then, and only then, will you enjoy a
> reciprocated warm, caring and loving relationship with those little
> people later in life.



4. Your FEEDBACK - talking to Senator Clinton, the MDM & Sacrifice
---------------------------------------------
For current info on what is happening check:
http://www.AKidsRight.Org/actionc_syr -- we recently got a letter from
a senior advisor to the Senator saying schedule time would not permit
any meeting.  Of course, our efforts will continue.

------  September Guererri writes:Sguererr@fluids.ittind.com
              
> Hi there. I just wanted to advise you that I received a letter from
> Senator Clinton this week, after speaking with her office briefly on
> the telephone last week. A gentleman from her office phoned me
> regarding the letters I have written and faxed to their office. I
> had twenty minute conversation with him, discussing my boyfriends
> current situation briefly but detailed. We discussed you also and
> when I asked him if he knew you, he said he knew of you but that he
> really didn't know about why you are fighting. I briefly explained
> it to him as you being a father who wants to have the same parenting
> experiences with your child as your child's mother, which really
> isn't any different than my boyfriends case. But that there are not
> any laws that protect you and others from having that right
> eliminated from you by the family court judiciary systems.

> He was very intrigued and pointed me to the assemblymen website,
> where you can email NY State assemblymen that are separated into
> committees, one imparticular that handles Children and family
> issues.......The final note I wanted to send you was regarding the
> letter I received from Mrs. Clinton this week. In it she explains to
> me that these "issues" concern her but that she is not the proper
> representative to address it. She gives me Senator Nozzolio's
> address (which I have already explained to her that his response to
> me was that it wasn't his jurisdiction either) This I thought was
> funny, and am sending out another letter to his office with a copy
> of hers asking him why the discrepancies


------- dssinc@voicenet.com writes:

> Talking with Hillary is like being Jesus's Parent talking to King
> Herod while he has the wise men search to determine how to smite
> Jesus..  My personal believe this women has the "BLOOD OF CHILDREN"
> on her hands...She fails to show the least remorse and/or concern
> for the people....My approach would be to confront her illegitimate
> actions abusing the campaign laws using H1-B Visa Indian funds to
> win the NY Senate Race..

I think I got another message from you on Senator Clinton and I just
don't agree.  Yes, she is not perfect.  Yes, she is a politician.
Yes, she wants to be reelected.  But that is what we have to work
with. Some people think we are going to win some magic "court
decision" that will restore all our rights as parents?  We need to win
by getting a majority of the folks on our side, the same way a Civil
Rights Act was passed.

I'm counting on the fact Ms. Clinton wants to become the first female
President of the United States.  But we as parents need to hold her
accountable and demonstrate that we are a political force -- without
that, what can we really expect?

--- PAUL M. CLEMENTS <pclem@juno.com>   The MDM

> I read with interest the comments by John Murtari about the million
> dads march.  John would like to call it "the million parents march".
> That just doesn't seem right, seeing as how the mothers now have all
> the advantages that the fathers have had taken away.  The fathers
> are struggling to achieve some equality in divorce and custody, in
> particular, the right to parent their children.  Mothers have no
> need to struggle.

> However, the MDM welcomes support from EVERYONE concerned with the
> issues of family breakup, and the separation of fathers from their
> children. Many women agree that fathers are treated unfairly.  But
> the march IS about a struggle for equality, and the fathers are the
> ones who need recognition.  The march has a purpose, and that
> purpose does not include giving even more rights and privileges to
> custodial mothers.  Asking for a name change like that is akin to
> asking NOW to change their name to "the National Organization of Men
> and Women".

--- ROBERT LASHEFF <dadstillherealways@yahoo.com> - Sacrifice

> Just thought I should mention that I have been jailed three times
> now, one of which was a one year stay in prison for my beliefs and
> concerns, and now I am a felon and the rights I thought I had lost
> during our divorce process Have most certainly been lost now. It is
> truly amazing what can happen to a person that becomes the target
> of special interest groups,a dysfunctional court system and a great
> deal of slander. And now that I have been unjustly labeled I retain
> no credibility in these courts only contempt and endless
> persecution. Yet, I continue to fight for my right to be a father to
> my little ones but at this point it is quite literally going to
> take an act of God to straighten this nightmare out. GODS SPEED!



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